Previously, I had a blog called Protagonist Academy. I really wanted to inspire others to shake off their fears, pursue their dreams, and make the most of their life.
I was tired of people complaining about things they could change, following the path their parents made for them, and sticking around people who don’t make them happy. My advice would fall on deaf ears so I decided to blog about it.
I have since closed down that blog. I had a lot of good articles, but I was running out of ideas and there wasn’t really an option to monetize in that niche. However, blogging is still one of my dreams, so once I started this in the summer of 2021 and built this site around September, I’ve been writing on here since.
If you like this blog or my advice, be sure to leave a tip ^_^ And if you’re single, be sure to check out my “25 Reasons To Embrace Your Single Status” article!
My Story
Now, I wasn’t always been a goal getter. In fact, coming from a poor background, growing up in a dangerous neighbourhood, and facing traumatic moments, I doubt anyone expected much from me. I had potential, and I worked hard because I wanted a happier, more stable life…
But for many years, all I did was work, run errands, and stay home all the time. My only priority was paying off debts and raising money cause I didn’t want to be broke, to struggle, for our family to see eviction letters anymore.
One day, when I finally got a comfy job in my field and was better off financially, I really started thinking about my life. Is this all I would amount too? It wasn’t a bad job, but it wasn’t fulfilling. I wasn’t helping people or putting my inquisitive mind to use.
I never did anything fun. I would see my friends maybe once a year, and do something simple like karaoke. We were all kinda broke. There were things I wanted to do, but I never had plans for them. Rather, I was waiting for someone to join me or invite me first.
Suddenly, the fear of regrets overwhelmed me. What if I came down with a terminal disease or lost a limb in an accident, and I could no longer do all I wanted to do? I’ve watched so many people’s stories, it could definitely happen.
How about all the kids who spent their whole lives in hospitals? The kids in my neighbourhood who died due to gang violence or accidents…kids I knew who never made it to adulthood.
We really never know what the future would hold….yet there I was, taking my life, my time, and my health for granted.
I was scared, scared of the world. Always thinking of worse case scenerios, but honestly, I would hate myself more if I continued to waste time and something happened to me. To think I could have done this or that, but didn’t.
I really had no excuses. I thought I did, but in the end, I was the only one holding myself back.
Between 2018 and early 2020, I did 3 solo trips. First was to Japan, and 2 across Canada. I went ice skating, swimming and to Wonderland for the first time in ages. Experienced indoor skydiving, rode a segway, saw the northern lights, tried archery and knife throwing etc. I took a leap of faith into my childhood dream job and currently work at one of the biggest agencies. There’s other things I had planned for 2020, but I got the biggest things off my list, so I don’t mind waiting.
The biggest thing I did though, one of my oldest dreams, was moving out. It was definitely the scariest thing I did, as I didn’t want to struggle again, but it’s what I’ve worked for the most. I’ve shared a room all my life, and I craved nothing more than my own space, privacy, and quiet.
As a teen, I only really had 3 big dreams. To move out, to go to Japan, and the last one is to play in a band on stage, and that’s what Chromatic Dreamers is. This is my 3rd attempt at making a band, and we already made it much farther than my first (only made it to our first rehearsal), so I’m sure it can happen this time.
Point is, I’m living like a protagonist and making the most of everyday to chase my dreams and reach my goals.
Are you?
No matter your background, no matter how few priviledges you have, how much discrimination you face, the roadblocks in your way, anything really is possible if you believe it is.
Your mindset, your belief in yourself, and your eagerness to work is what makes the biggest difference between those who live lives the hate and those who get a life they love.
I’ve learned so much about myself the last few years, and I also found my voice. I was done with the people pleasing. I was done sacrificing myself and my time for people who didn’t give a damn about me. I was done keeping quiet to keep the peace. I was done playing victim and letting my fears hold me back.
With each scary step I took, I built new courage. And when things went well, I built more confidence. Now, I believe I could really get anything I truly desire. Thankfully, I don’t care for big or expensive positions, I don’t want a house or a car etc, but the things I do want or need, I can get if I work hard.
And you can too. You can change your life around. You can get the job you truly desire. You can break free of the chains of your past and look forward to the future. You can be happier…if you really want it.
So here’s some tips if you’re ready to take the scary life changing plunge towards a better future.
1. Live True To Yourself
What do YOU want to do in life? What job do you want? What do you want to wear? Where do you want to go? So many people are living for others, trying to please others, doing what their parents expect of them, what their peers want them to do.
In the end, many feel like no one knows who they are, or that they can’t express themselves because they’ve built up a lie of a life.
And guess what? Best part is, later on when you’ve finally had your limits and you can’t take it anymore, you can try to blame others, but they’re going to say they didn’t force you to do this, you chose to do that, you went through with it. When you drift away from people and when your parents pass away, what’s going to motivate you then?
When you’re in an unhappy or abusive marriage because people pushed you to date, you’re the one who has to live with them, not then.
It’s time to start taking back control of your one and only life. It’s time to make your own decisions and decide what’s best for you. I get wanting to please others, but in the end, you’re the one who has to live with it. Think about yourself and what your heart wants first.
2. Say What You Need To Say
I feel people are so used to holding back and I really don’t see why. Obviously, if you only have hurtful or racist things to say, that’s another story, but for most other comments, I don’t see why you can’t be open about your thoughts and feelings.
If you’re curious about something, ask! If someone’s bad habit pisses you off, say something! If you would like to go on a date with someone, make your shot! If your heart is heavy over the realization of a bad thing you did in the past, apologize! If you’re grateful to someone, be sure you thank them!
I’m sick and tired of people waiting til it’s too late or for that person to pass away to realize all they wanted to tell that person. What are you waiting for? The right time???? There is no right time in life. Don’t wait for an opening or an opportunity.
Life is too short. Consider things now or never, and don’t procrastinate on small things like this, especially if it could make your life better in the end.
3. Pursue Your Real Dream Job/Career
As they often say, work takes up a good 1/3 of your life. A THIRD OF YOUR LIFE! That’s a lot of time to be doing something you dread, or something that weighs down on your mental health. More so if it doesn’t even pay you enough to enjoy other things you want to do in your life.
As someone who pursued a safe job initially, but later pursued my crazy childhood dream even though there wasn’t a clear path to take or entrance opportunities, I made it work. There are other’s who really wanted to start their own business and managed to succeed in that too.
There’s people who wanted to ice skate professionally even though they are much older. People who went back to school to become a doctor or lawyer in their 50s. It is never to late to make a change.
I get that having a family or other financial responsibilites may make the path harder, but if theres a will, there’s a way. If it’s something you’re passionate about, just chase after it with all your heart. It will be worth it in the end.
4. Surround Yourself With Good People
This is another thing that never made sense to me, even as a kid. So many people stick around with those who don’t treat them well. They make fun of them, use them, leave them hanging. They pretend to be a friend but talk trash behind their back. They will ask for hundreds of favours, and the one time you need them, they aren’t there for you.
Deep down, we usually know that these individuals aren’t right for us. We don’t feel happy around them, or we may even be scared and intimidated by them, yet you stick around. Perhaps this is someone you knew from young, or they were there for you when you needed someone the most, but people change. Or for some, it was a manipulative tactic to get you to be attached to them.
It’s time to let go of people who don’t have the best intentsions for you. Time to let go of those who judge you for who you are and what you like, and who love to lecture and berate you when you make mistakes. If it’s a toxic family member, you may not have the option to leave now, but make it a priority to work and get your own place or find another path of escape.
You are stronger than you think, and as scary as it is to cut ties with someone, even if it means losing everyone else you know, it will be worth it. Remember that there are always better people out there. People who you will get along with, who will like the same things you do, who will see you as awesome and amazing and not take advantage of you.
5. Be A Real Friend To Others
I know a lot of people are aware of cutting out toxic people from their circle, but what if you’re actually the toxic one?
Are you someone who regularly flakes on your friends? Do you always complain or make fun of them to other people? Do you take 2 years to reply to messages? When they’re sad and upset, do you tell them it’s not big deal and to suck it up? Are you someone who borrows and never returns anything? Do you neglect your friends when you get a new boyfriend but always run to them crying when it doesn’t work out, even though they warned you about him? Perhaps you love attention and managed to upstage your best friend at her own wedding?
It’s time to build some self awareness and ask yourself if you treat others the way you want to be treated. Are you the kind of friend you would want? Do you give as much as you take, or do you take and take and take?
This, of course, could be applied in various scenarios. Perhaps you’re a bully or a toxic coworker. Maybe you’re a horrible daughter despite your parents doing all they can to make you happy.
Years down the line, are you going to regret the way you treated people? Have you hurt some of the kindest souls just because you knew they wouldn’t fight back?
Also note that being a good friend doesn’t just mean being ‘nice’. There’s a lot more to it than that. ‘Nice’ people would tell someone they’re a great singer and push them to audition for American Idol so they can embarrass themselves in front of the world. A kind person would be honest and say what needs to be said, for the sake of the other person, not just for their self image.
Keep in touch with your friends. Ask how they are and what’s going on in their life. If they tell you about an event, ask if they’d want a buddy or a ride. If they mention being anxious about a test, ask if you can help them prepare, and follow up after to ask how it was. They’ll appreciate you for remembering and caring enough to ask.
Always ask and offer first. Not everyone has the guts to ask. If you got a bag of chips, offer, if you know your friend is struggling financially, offer to buy them a drink or pay for the meal next time you hang. I know my friends miss out due to money, and id happily pay if it means we can hang out and they can experience something new, do something fun for once.
If they’re feeling down due to a recent breakup, and they’re trying to sound brave because their family tells them to get over it, let them know that they can be oppen and sad to you. No one is going to get over a break up in two weeks, so don’t expect them to be. Have a heart and be considerate and empathetic of their feelings.
The reason why protagonists, especially heroes, have some of the best friend circles is because they are someone people can count on. They are someone who is kind and truly cares about their loved ones, even risking their lives for them if need be.
They listen to them, give them a shoulder to cry on, and will go out of their way to help them. By extending kindness first, not only do people want to be their friend, but they will want to go above and beyond as well.
6. Reflect And Apologize
I don’t know the stats, but I’m sure the majority of us grow up feeling and thinking we are always right. Our actions are right. Our beliefs are right. Our views and our morals are right.
What we did and said may have felt right in that moment, but as you get older, it’s always good to reflect on your past to get closer to figuring out who you are, what you think, and how you react in certain situations. You may also consider how your actions or words may have been perceived by others.
In the process, you may realize what you did or said was wrong, or that they were right when they ‘targetted’ you, and that may bring a bit of guilt or shame on you. That’s okay! It’s a wonderful feeling to notice your wrongs before anyone else does, as you can avoid doing so in the future.
But to help eleviate those feelings, you can always reach out and apologize. It may seem awkward to apologize to someone who has wronged you as well, or to bring up something that happened 10 years ago, but hear me out.
For one, it may mean the world to them if what you did left a dagger in their side. Those who were bullied, for example, they may have wondered why they were a target, and still deal with some trauma dealt by you. To receive a genuine apology, and to have the opportunity to ask what they’ve been wondering, can bring them some peace. If they don’t remember, you still got it off your chest.
Outside of not saying what they wanted to say, not being able to apologize to someone they know they’ve hurt is another big regret of people. We’re trying to live without regrets here. Say sorry while you still can. Don’t procrastinate.
It’s rare people apologize for their actions, so doing so will make you admirable to others. To admit one’s faults and speak about it shows bravery and humility. The world needs more of that.
7. Take Chances and Be Spontaneous
It surprises me when people put down opportunities. I’m the kind of person who is open and down for anything. If I’ve always been someone open and down for anything, probably because opportunities were rare for me.
If a friend asked me to join a club cause they need people, or someone asked if I wanted to try a new activity with them, I’d be like sure! why not? Opportunities don’t come every blue moon, and it’s rare I’m invited to something.
It’s because of this mentality that I got to go to Jamaica (even if it’s a trip I’d rather forget), record an original song at a real studio, got to be in a musical production, learned viola, etc.
There are times where I may have had a simple plan that day or may be quite tired, but an opportunity popped up, and I was ready to shift my schedule around. I have yet to regret it. Those memories are invaluable to me. I can’t recall saying no to something.
Well, my cousin brought up bungee jumping and skydiving, and those are life threatening things, so I’m more hesitant. I don’t like the idea of falling. I would love to do hang gliding when the pandemic is over, but just falling? Meh lol
Also note that this also includes being there for people. If a friend needs help, and even if it’s tight you feel you can do it, go! How many times do you get to prove to a friend that you are someone they can count on? These small sacrifices can sometimes make or break someone’s future, so be flexible and be spontaneous.
8. Help Others Daily
I’m sure we all wished there were more kind and loving people in the world, but not many want to actually be those people. The world gets colder and more selfish everyday. But we never know how much a small act of kindness can do for someone who is having a hard time, or who is trying to find a reason to live.
You don’t need to be a fireman or donate millions of dollars. Honestly, it’s the small things done by strangers that mean the most. They didn’t have to do anything. They didn’t have to notice or care. They’re not getting paid to help, nor are thy getting any credit or tax. They just did it out of the goodness of their heart.
I don’t really think about this, but I know many do, and that’s how would you be remembered? Yeah, it may be nice being rich and famous, to have created something big and amazing, but if you’re a douchebag, if you look down on people, and can’t even spare a few hours to volunteer, people may not have the best impression of you. They may respect you, but they won’t really like you.
But beyond those thoughts, a true protagonist is someone who helps others. Who brings hope, happiness, and light into other’s lives.
They may be pursuing their own dreams and wishes, but they still make time to help their fellow human being. They still have money to spare on a homeless person. They still have time to be a mentor to youth. They can still take a moment to help an old lady cross the street or help someone with their bags. They will give up their seat on the bus, let someone cut in front of them in line, pay the balance for someone who is struggling with groceries. If they see someone crying alone, they will check in on them.
These actions may seem unnatural at first, and you may not want to do them, but the more you practice random acts of kindness, the easier it becomes. Even if you’re not getting much in return, a simple thank you, seeing a smile on a child’s face, or knowing someone will get a real meal tonight, is all the return you need.
9. Stop Making Excuses
Excuses are comforting. It’s nice being able to blame someone or something else for why we can’t do what we want to do, or be where we want to be.
We blame our parents for why we didn’t pursue our true dream job. We blame our backgrounds for why we are still broke. We blame society for why we can’t find a better job. We blame our teachers when we didn’t get a good grade or failed our driving test. We blame the bus for being late. We blame our friends for getting us hooked on drugs and alcohol. We blame the casino for existing as we gamble all our money away.
But you see, the problem with blaming others and making excuses is that we give power and control to everything but ourselves. It will feel like you don’t have a choice and that your life is predetermined.
The life of a protagonist is never easy. The main characters everyone admires are those who were nobodies. They were weak. They were outcasted. They grew up in the worst circumstances. They came from the bottom of the barrel so no one believed in them, and honestly they almost didn’t believe in themselves. However, they couldn’t accept that.
Even if what they wanted seemed far away or even impossible based on who they are and the circumstances they were born into, they decided they weren’t going to just take it. They weren’t going to let that be an excused.
They knew that in the end, they had the power inside of them. They could make a choice, and they could go in a different direction.
You can too. You can change your life once you decide to stop blaming everything else and start blaming yourself for why your life is the way it is. You chose to listen to your parents wishes. You stuck with the minimum wage job and never pursued something better paying. You only apply to jobs online, but you never call, drop in person, or take other approaches. You didn’t study hard enough or looked up other lessons to pass. You didn’t leave earlier to make sure you were early.
It’s hard to take the blame, but you need to put that power back into your own hands. Take responsibility and your life will change, because you are now in control.
10. Never Give Up
Too many of us give up too soon. The slightest bit of competition, struggle, difficulty, and we’re ready to throw in the towel.
What I really admire about anime protagonists is that they are usually regular kids, they aren’t strong or special in any way. People don’t expect much from them. But they are dedicated and serious about their dreams, and they’re going to make it happen. Over time, as they grow and progress, and as they help and protect others along the way, they end up having a lot of believers behind them.
This band thing I’m building is something I’ve been dreaming of since I was 12. I didn’t have musical friends back then, and I didn’t play guitar, bass or drums either. Compared to all my other dreams and things on my bucketlist that I could do alone, a band required other people. Not just one or two, but three or four more people!
Finding 4 other people who play instruments, who like the same music, and are committed to the same goal is hard, and I’ve failed twice before, but this time around…I’m sure it could actually happen. It seemed crazy, even to the two friends who were open to joining me, but with time, and me and my motivation and belief, I’m sure I inspired everyone. They can all see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though we are all beginners.
The mind is a very powerful thing, and whatever you believe in will happen. It’s called the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you’re going to lose a competition, you’re probably not going to put in the time and effort needed to win. If you don’t think your online business will work out, you’re not going to invest or promote as much as you could. If you don’t think you can pass the bar exam, you’re not going to study and get the help you need.
So remember this the next time you have a goal that you really want to bring to life. Have some confidence in yourself and your capabilities, and don’t drop it unless you know for certain that it can’t or won’t happen.
Conclusion
Life is short. Let’s make the most of it, pursuing what really want and spending valuable time with our loved ones.
If you want, definitely check out my article with 50+ motivational songs (mostly English), and 30+ motivational animes. Music has a lot of power, and I know anime definitely inspired me to pursue my dreams since childhood.
Also, if you’re interested, check out my “Ultimate Goal Planner” and “Life Changing Self-Esteem Builder” in my shop. These are deep and in-depth journals to help you analyze yourself, realize your goals, and take the proper steps to get where you want to be.
If you’d like to make a commitment to yourself, leave a comment below. I’ll hold you accountable 😛
Also feel free to send me an email if you’d like advice or just someone to talk to. I’d love to help in any way that I can.
Here’s to a better future!