The Stressful Side Of Being A Guitarist In A Band

Hello, I’m Nostalgia! I’ve been playing guitar for almost 4 years combined now and have documented my journey from noob to performer on this blog and my Instagram, @key2nostalgia. I haven’t written an insightful article about being a guitarist in quite some time, but I had a lot on my mind recently and felt inspired to share this side of the journey.

I’m writing this a couple days before my biggest gig ever as a newbie guitarist. We got a set in Japan Festival Canada at Mississauga Celebration Square in Toronto. It will be like a grand finale for this whole rookie band project that I started in 2021! I’m writing this on August 17th, a couple days before my gig because I realized there is just so much on my mind to consider to ensure everything will be A-OK that day. This would be our 4th real gig in a year’s time (first gig ever was August 14, 2022), so I have some experience, I’m not as worried as before, but there’s still many things I need to check off.

This is an acoustic gig, which is a lot easier to plan for than when I had a full band of rookies who followed my lead, but regardless, I obviously can’t expect my singer to know or plan the technical side of a gig. She’s also an introvert (as was all the members of the full band last year were), so all aspects of promotion (this blog/website, social medias) and conversation with hosts and potential fans fall on me.

I sometimes update the singer on my thoughts and considerations as a guitarist preparing for a gig, and while she does care, I know she can’t truly sympathize or understanding exactly what I’m referring to, even if I write it in detail. She certainly has the privilege of just showing up to a gig and singing how she feels…but if I don’t have my act together, the song will fall apart regardless. I definitely want to be good and stable enough for her to sing confidently to.

And boy, compared to other instruments I’ve played casually in the past, being a guitarist has certainly been the one that required not only the longest time to even sound good (chords ringing, proper strumming, fast picking speed), but also requires the most mental strain when everything is considered. More so, if you also need to provide backup vocals and be entertaining as well.

While I definitely acknowledge that other instruments put a lot of years into their craft, some have the privilege of showing up empty handed (ie. pianist, organist, drummers) or having a more basic 5-10 minute setup (assemble, fix your reed/adjust your bow, add some saliva or resin, and you’re good. Some have to tune, like the strings, but otherwise, that’s about it for set up. Just put a mic near by and you’re ready to perform). But guitarists? We not only have to tune, but set up cables, amps, pedals, capos, monitors, volumes, and work with the sound guy to be in-sync with the band.

So here’s some things that I’m sure every guitarist will relate to on this list. I hope other musicians can gain some insight and perhaps some appreciation to all guitarists do to be ready without ever mentioning or complaining about it. And that’s not to say all guitarists are amazing or professional or anything like that.

I’ve written articles about nightmare bandmates like guitarists with egos, and how some don’t know any music theory so they can’t communicate with other musicians…but I’ll give them credit when it comes to delivering. Especially with guitar being such a common instrument used in pretty much every genre, there’s bound to be many amazing and dependable guitarists helping to serve the music community.

1. Maintaining Fingernails & Calluses

I’m putting this first simply because I am a female and it was the biggest change I had to make when picking up the instrument. While I was always a tomboy who never cared to paint my nails or do anything fancy, I was someone who always had somewhat longer nails that came in handy when untying bags or scratching an itchy leg.

The first time I truly picked up guitar was in my Grade 11 music class. It was a nylon string and I only picked notes as I still had to play classical songs with the others. During this time, my teacher would tell me that I have to cut my nails, but I ignored her suggestion and played with a flatter hand. But I’ve matured since then and I see the need to be able to press straight down on the strings.

When I’m practicing to play with my band, I found myself cutting or filing down my nails every 2-3 weeks. Sometimes I would take breaks from guitar and I may feel like picking it up suddenly for fun, but I can feel that my nails are too long and it’s harder to press down on the strings to play chords properly. Sometimes, my nails may also get in the way of my strumming since it extends past the pick I’m playing with.

Then of course, we got other guitarists who strum with their hands or play fingerstyle. In this case, they really need to maintain their nails and ensure it’s the right length, the right sharpness…I don’t even know what they do if a nail breaks before a gig. There are picks you can place on your finger, but everyone online seems to prefer their natural nails. Thus, there’s definitely a lot of adjustment and considerations.

And don’t even get me started on calluses. They are very necessary and take time to develop. It’s actually quite painful playing guitar the first few weeks until they come in cause you are literally putting trauma on your fingers as you press down on thin strings for an amount of time. They take at least a month of regular playing to get a little hard and the sensitivity will die down.

Calluses can get softer as your skin cycle continues (or if you use exfoliants during my facial routine and hand creams like I do, more on that in my how to avoid *unsightly* calluses article). You can also lose the completely if you haven’t played in a few months. Calluses can also get harder and rougher when you play more. So unless you’re a regular player, you risk having uneven and flaky calluses that can interfere with your playing as well. Both your nails and your fingertips must be maintained as a guitarist.

2. Having The Right Equipment

Guitar is not a cheap hobby at all. Sure, you can definitely get far with just one decent $250 guitar, but if you’re playing an electric guitar, boy, you will need a lot of things on hand at all times. Tuners, capos, guitar straps, extra strings, many cables, a good amp, pedals and a pedal board, earplugs, and so on.

If you ever plan to record, you’ll need a good camera and tripod, an audio interface and music software, and you’ll need to learn and practice a lot just for that as well. If you have a lot to carry, it’s best to have a car to ensure your equipment gets to the gig safely. If you don’t have one like me, you’ll definitely need to ask for a ride or reserve money for an uber.

If you don’t have another guitarist in your band, or you’re at an event that doesn’t feature another guitarist or band, then you definitely need to do your research and ensure you or the venue will have anything you could possibly need. You may need different cable adaptors, or a pre-amp, or a mini stand to mic your amp and so on. The last thing you’d want is to not be able to play because you didn’t have what you needed, or for your sound quality to be horrible due to the amateur setup.

At my band’s first rock gig, the bassist realized he didn’t have his strap. Why did he remove his strap to begin with? I honestly have no clue. I do have a lot of extra things on me like cables, earplugs, and strings, but that was one thing I never would have expected someone to forget. Thankfully, honestly somehow by a miracle, the bartender was able to find a spare guitar strap for him to use. I’m very creative, but I really wouldn’t have been able to think of a last minute solution for something like that.

3. Learning and Memorizing the Material

Of course the length of time needed to learn a song will depend on the person, but regardless, with guitar, you’re bound to forget songs very easily if you never had it down or you’re not practicing regularly enough. Your fingers can also get rusty so you sometimes have to relearn how to play difficult or uncommon chords or to do tricks like harmonics and vibrato.

In my case, I was playing Japanese music throughout the band project, and Jpop has some of the longest and most complex chord progressions most people have ever seen since they incorporate lots of borrowed chords, diminished chords, seventh chords, key changes and modulation, and many other creative things you may never hear in other songs. Below is the chord progression for “Cry Baby” from an anime called Tokyo Revengers and it has countless chord changes along with many borrowed chords. While this is on the extreme end, 8 to 14 chords per song and 6 to 12 chord-long progressions is usually what I deal with. And quite often, progressions don’t repeat themselves either.

Western musicians have a much easier time in comparison as there are many songs that will have the same 3 or 4 chord progressions. You learn 1 song, and you pretty much learned 200 other songs that are pretty much identical. I, on the other hand, had to really put a lot of time and focus into familiarizing and memorizing each song because none of them are the same. Some popular progressions may pop up again, but usually in a different key…and rarely keys with just open chords. And I haven’t even gotten to the strumming pattern aspect of it yet.

It’s great if you have enough time to really internalize a song to the point where you develop muscle memory, but I’ve heard of guitarists being offered a last minute gig and needing to prepare a 30minute or longer set. If you have to sing as well like I do, I always need to ensure I have the playing part down, and then memorize the foreign lyrics, and then I can put them together. For this final gig, I was also standing, speaking, and trying to be more entertaining so there’s a lot on my mind.

Of course some gigging cover bands that can play hundreds of songs may opt to have a tablet with the chords available while performing, but they still need to be familiar with the song itself and the flow. Some can certainly wing it if they’re good with their ears, but nothing can prepare them more than good ol’ practice. And I’m sure there’s many like me who wouldn’t feel confident or ready for the stage unless I have a song memorized and mastered.

4. Body Posture And General Health

You know how hard it is to play guitar standing up if you’ve been sitting most of the time? I still remember my first year and some playing guitar. Most start sitting because they need to be able to see the fretboard and ensure their fingers are where they need to be. After a year, they probably remember the chords and feeling well enough to play without looking at the board.

As they get more comfortable, they may want to start feeling like a rockstar so they’ll stand up but ugh!! Now it feels like they’re back at the starting line. When the guitar is able to rest on their thigh, there is a lot more stability and they get comfortable with that position. But once you stand up, the guitar is angled differently, it sways more, your hand is cramping up, and things aren’t ringing out like they normally would.

On top of that, your guitar can weigh on your shoulders and cause some pain or uncomfortability. Or perhaps you cant see the fretboard as clearly as you usually good so now you’re kinda hunching over as well. If you’re a girl like me with a decent size chest, finding the right position and height is also a factor. If you don’t stand up much like me since I work from home, it all requires a lot of energy.

If you’re feeling under the weather, it will definitely show. And if you’re sick or sneezing, it’s going to be even harder to play as stable as normal. Any jolts or sneezes can noticeably mess up your rhythm or riffs. I’m sure the fear of being sick applies to any instrument, especially woodwinds and brass that literally need to breath well to play, but at least in an orchestra, you’re usually one of a few playing the same parts and can sit out without affecting the group too much. But in a band, every member is vital to the overall sound.

5. When To Change Strings/Fear Of Them Breaking

There’s some guitarists who will use the same strings for months or years until they break. Some more serious guitarists will change them every couple months to ensure they always have the best sound, and every time before a recording session.

Below is a picture I took when a string broke suddenly. I had rehearsal a few days before but was changing as we were planning to record in a few weeks. I always take my time with tuning, often slowly working up to the right note and taking breaks. I did manage to tune it well, and then when I turned away for a bit, I heard it snap. I didn’t have any more of the pink packs I usually use, so I had to pull out a single string from the spare yellow pack I had. But now…what about the rest of that pack?

Now that Im playing more acoustic songs, I started using my Epiphone Les Paul regularly. I didn’t recall changing the strings since I got it in early 2021, so I changed them a week or two before we did our studio recording in late May 2023. I always change a week or so before a gig to give them time to break in. And since our first gig was mid-July, I didn’t feel a need to change them just yet.

I was certainly wondering and hesitating if I should change them again before this gig in mid-August as I’ve obviously been practicing a lot, but I only have one spare set of strings left. So unless I was planning to order more in case those broke, I may as well keep them on. I am planning to go on hiatus after this gig, so I don’t want to waste more money than I have to if I don’t need to, know what I mean? I’d rather have a spare aside.

I’ve never had strings break on me in the middle of practice, recording, or performing, but man, I certainly blame anime for this paranoia. Below are clips from a couple new series. In Given, the two main characters have a fight behind stage and one broke their strings. No one had spares, so the other guy ran out to buy some and change it for him. They had to keep asking the band just before them to keep playing since their two guitarists were busy dealing with this issue.

In Bocchi The Rock, Bocchi is a very shy girl who never had friends, but one day she felt inspired to pick up guitar and be in a band. Her father allowed her to play his vintage guitar that was probably in the basement somewhere. She played it for 3 years and even started recording covers secretly, but one day by a stroke of luck, she was picked up by a girl who desperately needed a guitarist as hers flaked out just before a gig. That girl’s sister owns a small venue so they have the priviledge of performing there.

After another gig, Bocchi’s school’s festival was coming up and the band decided to perform there. During their 2nd song, Bocchi noticed one of her strings weren’t staying in tune and then her high E string broke. This caused the tension in the guitar to change knocking the others out of tune as well. She was freaking out as her solo was coming up, but the rhythm guitarist stepped in for a bit, and then Bocchi was able to improvise via slide guitar.

There’s of course many other factors that can affect your strings as well, and this is important since out of tune strings can/will be noticeable when you play since it won’t compliment the other instruments. Humidity and temperature, for example, are big factors.

Guitars are (generally) made of wood, and wood is a living object that breathes, bends, and changes depending on the environment. I got a humidifier at one point that was on a table beside my guitars, and it was the first time my guitar was ever sharp before I tuned. I always try to let my guitar breathe 30 minutes once I get to the gig and I’ll tune it 2-3 times just to be sure before I start performing.

But just painting a scenario here…imagine your guitar strings are over a year old. You live in a cool and dry apartment. You then take your guitar out for a gig and the venue is super hot and humid. The very quick change causes your guitar neck to expand and just as you start playing, your guitar strings snap! It can certainly happen. The newer your strings, the more flexible, but the older or more worn out they are, the more risk of them snapping…especially if you aren’t a gentle player.

6. Wearing The Right Clothes

This may just be for us females, especially if majority of guys tend to just wear jeans and T-shirt to gigs, but clothing was always a huge factor when I was preparing for a gig. For example, our very first gig, we planned to do a matching cosplay scheme, and we decided on Inuyasha since one of our songs were from the series. We all had big floppy sleeves, so I had to ensure that I bought some safety pins so it wouldn’t get in the way when me and the other guitarist played.

Since we played mostly Japanese music and anime hits, that community really loves skirts. I love skirts too, and they’re fine if I’m sitting, just need to ensure I’m wearing something underneath when on a stage. If standing, it’s best to wear a more fitted skirt so cords wouldn’t get caught up in it by accident.

For this outside festival, I definitely wasn’t taking that chance since it’s a really big gig with lots of cameras and it could be windy, so I’m wearing pants. Not to mention (TMI) it will be my time of the month, so the last thing I need is to be uncomfortable or self conscious about an embarrassing spill due to that. Heels are also common in the otaku scene. That’s fine if I’m sitting, but I’m not taking that chance standing. I don’t need to risk tripping on stage or the new playing position throwing me off my game.

As for tops, I didn’t want something so baggy or too layered since I got a guitar strap to deal with. The festival is outside and I really can’t predict how hot or cold it will on the day or by the time we play. I really don’t want to overdress and have sweaty hands, nor do I want to underdress and be chilly making my hands stiff. So I opted for a comfy and breathable long sleeve mesh sweater with a vest underneath.

There were times I considered wearing some cool gloves, or maybe a certain bracelet and such, but if it’s going to affect my playing or interfere with the strings, I’m not taking that chance. Pockets are always great for spare picks, but girls clothes don’t usually come with that. Point is, as a guitarist (and definitely for bassists as well), we don’t always get to wear what we want. It may be uncomfortable, may get in the way of our playing, or can lead to some embarrassment!

7. Having To Organize Your Band & The Gig

In my case, of course I created the band with a clear goal and mission. I wanted us to start performing within a year as it was only meant to be a 2-3 year project. Since we were all rookies (lead guitarist was classically trained, but never performed in a rock band), and the others were either too busy or lacked the motivation to study and educate themselves, I was the one who had to learn everything about bands and teach them, find gigs and work with the hosts, and prepare everyone for our gigs.

While I was the leader in my band’s situation, I certainly feel like the guitarist is more likely to be the leader in most cases as they’re usually either the songwriters or the ones with the dream or ego to start the band in the first place. Lead guitarists especially would love a backing track for them to experiment with. Even if the guitarist isn’t the leader, they’re more likely the most familiar with the song as they are the heart of it. Their riffs or progressions is what helps others recognize the song. The guitarist is the perfect in between of being part of the actual band, but also the foundation (chords) on which the singer will sing.

If a singer is in charge, they may not always be able to understand what’s possible for the members nor able o communicate how they want something to sound. The drummer is rarely going to know anything about keys and chords to lead or correct any other member. A bassist can be amazing and well educated, but many bassists will just know the root note or number if they learned from tabs. I do think bassists would be the best/next best leader though as they have the rhythm and ear to compliment other members, and they can do so humbly without an ego…but I’m going off track.

As mentioned above, the guitarist will more likely have the most gear to deal with (assuming there’s a drum kit at a gig anyways) and being the heart, they know their sound matters the most as well. They’re more likely going to be the one communicating with the host or venue about what the band needs, ensuring everything is set up to the PA system properly, and interacting with the sound guy during the gig.

I find myself asking to ensure they got enough mics and mic stands, preparing our drum track list and putting them on the USB (also ensuring it’s on the drive if that fails), and so on. And if you’re the one talking to the host, that also means you’re the one who needs to update your band on everything and provide the host/venue with everything (photos, song list, etc). So all this also takes up more mental space.

8. The Amount Of Pressure On You To Play Well

Yes, of course the singer will get the most attention, and the drummer certainly needs to be solid for the band to be solid, the bass definitely adds the groove and so on, but the heart of the song usually comes down to the guitarist. In a band, if there was no guitar playing, you probably wouldn’t even know what song they’re playing. And neither will the singer, so they depend on you too. This is why guitarists can go solo, but most other instruments need to be part of a band or orchestra. So yes, there’s pressure for you to play those 6 thin strings cleanly and precisely.

When I was running things with the full band, it certainly felt like everyone relied on me to know where they were. Our drummer couldn’t keep a beat and would add extra beats during fills, the bassist would often get lost and relied heavily on his tabs, and the lead guitarist clearly only learned his riffs and licks without listening and playing to the whole song, so he would listen to me for his cue. I tried an experiment a couple times to see if they knew their material, but if I wasn’t playing, they all fell apart very easily. Even though we played some songs for over a year, they still didn’t have it fully down.

When me and the singer decided to reunite as a duet, I was a little reluctant at first. Mostly because I was done with the band project and really needed a break, but also because I knew there would be way more pressure being the only instrument. Power chords are fun, but full chords had a lot more risks to it. If you mess up in a band, it’s okay, but it’s a lot more noticeable if you’re alone. And I would hate to throw off my singer, so it’s a lot to bare for a rookie, especially if you recall the long and complex chord progressions above.

9. Higher Possibility Of Feeling Disappointed

I certainly feel that guitarists are the most likely to be obsessive about their performance. Singers are flexible to change things up depending on how they feel, drummers can certainly experiment and have fun as long as they keep the beat, bassists are free to keep things simple or can be more fancy and funky when they feel like it….

…But the guitarist? Especially the rhythm guitarist? There’s no real flexibility. If you mess up, it’s the most noticeable. Outside of the singer, the guitarist is usually the one people look at the most, more so if they are doing licks and solos. While a skilled and confident guitarist can easily fix mistakes with bends and slides, less experienced guitarists are more likely to make noticeable mistakes or even forget parts under pressure. I’m at a place where if I do mix up a chord, I can fix it in a second, but others may need to wait until the next section to get back on track.

I feel like, when you consider all that guitarists have to do and keep track of to prepare for a gig, all the time learning a song and mastering a solo, it really does suck when you can’t deliver when it mattered most. Sweaty hands, blinding lighting, unable to hear well, or just being distracted, it happens! Even if other’s don’t notice it or make a big deal of it, you would. Hopefully your mistake(s) isn’t so bad that everyone looks at you. Embarrassing!

Now, since I was a beginner, I knew it would be stupid to compare myself with people who’ve been playing for 10, or even 25+ years, but I know for other guitarists, they are more likely to feel self conscious or insecure in that regard. “Guitarists are a dime a dozen” as they say. There’s so many of them!! And you’ll easily find people who can play way better than you. Yeah, you can pre-record or do 50 takes to get a great clip for Instagram, but if you can’t play well live, people will notice and may call you out.

Gigs don’t come regularly to most, so if it’s your one chance to prove yourself and you don’t do as well as you like, disappointment is sure to ensue. If you prepared for weeks or months in advance, but then caved with the adrenaline and pressure, it really sucks. But hopefully, they can get back up, brush themselves off, and try again! I’ve been generally happy with my performances, but I definitely know how much time I’ve put in to ensure I can be a solid member for my band.

10. And Having To Do It All Over Again

This certainly depends on the type of band you’re playing with. If you’re part of a cover band that has a setlist that you simply rotate through, it’s not as stressful because you already know the material, and you probably have everything organized and ready to go should a gig arise. Everyone in the band knows how things work so you can just take care of yourself.

But if you’re in a new or occasional band like me, every gig usually means new songs to learn and rehearse with everyone, new stage or venue that may have never hosted a band before and you need to ensure you can set up properly, and there’s a lot of uncertainty and concern between getting the gig and the day of. You can only hope things will go well. A really bad gig can potentially prevent you from getting other gigs in the future as well. You don’t want to let a host down.

Don’t get me wrong, I love performing, and that was my main goal when I picked up guitar…but I’m the one who has to do all the communication, all the promotion, buying all the necessary gear to prepare for any place, dealing with the set up, the recording, and so on. It’s a lot! If I forget something, no one will remind me or have my back, and then I also have the responsibility of also ensuring others don’t forget anything either.

And while I will never complain about having an opportunity to play at a convention or festival, and I’m always thankful for those who come our or listen to us rookies play, I’m definitely the type of person who is looking forward to when it’s over so I can finally relax! I leave everything on that stage, I can finally move on from some songs that were a struggle to play….but then I still gotta blog about it, share clips on social media, and comment on content haha. I understand why bands are best with a manager who can truly handle all the behind the scenes stuff.

After this gig, I’m definitely going on a hiatus for some time. Giving my mind and soul a break. But afterwards, I would definitely love to just play guitar for fun, and explore other genres and styles more casually as opposed to always just rehearsing sets for a gig.

Conclusion

For my fellow guitarists out there, can you relate? Or am I just overthinking things as both a female and a beginner trying to run a band?

I will say, just like figure skaters and professional chefs, most guitarists you see in videos and in concerts certainly make it look easy. I’m sure the more skilled you are, the more fun you can have, but boy, I feel like guitar is 25% music talent/knowledge, and 75% technical, so while I have musical background, none of that was transferable when I picked it up.

Other instruments are easier to jump into and you can easily play a simple song in a day or a week, but guitar? Good luck even holding a pick, let alone strumming. Have fun trying to play a G chord without your hands cramping up, and you can forget about barre chords until months down the line. There’s literally many things you can’t physically do for the first few months or years of playing guitar until you grow calluses and your hand is more flexible.

And then on top of that, there’s gear, guitar maintenance, finding the right effects and settings for your songs, learning about stage presence, and multitasking if you need to provide backup vocals as well. It’s a lot of pressure, and I honestly don’t think guitarists get as much credit as they should at times for being able to deliver every time it counts.

I’ve been on big stages like Roy Thompson Hall with multiple school choirs and Massey Hall with drumline back in my school days, but this will be the most attention for sure. I’m not even that nervous about the show itself or the size of the crowd persay as I don’t do this for the attention (more on my musical motivations article here), but there’s a lot to organize beforehand, and even more to update after having social medias, a blog and a channel. It’s definitely way less stressful being part of an acoustic duet instead of running a full band, but all the points above still apply in either scenario.

What’s it like for you? Is someone else the leader or you have more advanced bandmates so you can sit back and relax more? Do you tend to stick to bars and venues that are set up for bands so you never have to think too hard about equipment? Maybe you actually like the excitement of the hustle and bustle as you move further into the music scene. Let me know in the comments below!