When thinking about articles to write, I suddenly remembered an old article of mine. Around the time I graduated high school, a good 10 years ago now, I wrote a few Wikihow articles. One of my most popular ones was called “How To Be Cute & Kawaii If You’re Not Asian”. It was extremely popular with over 20K views.
Maybe 4 years later, I popped in and realized it was gone. They deleted it. I emailed Wikihow to ask about it, and they said the “community voted to take it down due to accuracy reasons”…..I know I didn’t give any wrong or deceiving advice, cause I truly want to help people, but it is what it is.
Now that I have my own site that talks about Japan and Japanese music, I figured, why not rewrite this article, and make it 10X better. I have yet to see any detailed guides online, and some only cover fashion, but I wanted to go into what makes a kawaii character. Everything from internal thoughts and external actions.
Of course, this is going to be long because I always feel a need to go into the ‘why’ of the recommendation, and I love giving examples as well. Thus, this is your one-stop shop on everything you need to know to blossom into a cute, adorable, sweet, loving person.
Let’s get to it!
Internal Changes
I couldn’t possibly shorten such big life lessons, so sorry for the essay. If you read it and take it to heart though, you’ll change your life for the better 🙂
1. Accept Your Natural Beauty
Before we get into any specifics on how to dress or how to act, you must first accept your natural beauty. Being kawaii isn’t about being pretty or beautiful, it’s about being cute, warm, sweet, and adorable.
Yes, shorter people tend to be cuter, but that doesn’t mean you can’t if you’re tall. I get it, lighter skintones are seen as more pure and innocent, but darker people can be cute if not cuter if they try! You don’t have perfect skin? I’ve seen some adorable people with heavy acne. You’re missing an arm? Have you seen a disabled dog before? They’re so precious!! You just want to help them!
You can’t change a lot of things about yourself, so what good does hating it do for you? Beauty is subjective, and while some people or even parts of the world may find a certain feature more attractive, that doesn’t mean the opposite feature is ugly by any means.
Also remember that beauty trends change! At one point, being super skinny like a model was in, and now curves are getting the spotlight. People with freckle used to be made fun of, and now people are drawing and tattooing them on! Vitilago was seen as unattractive and unusual, but now magazines are featuring them.
I’m sure many black people (myself included) were told we got big mouths/lips, but now everyone wants bigger, fuller lips. Some are even overlining their lips and getting fillers. Slim asian eyes are also getting their spotlight, and a Korean model just made Vogue.
So love yourself. Even if others don’t see the beauty in your traits (yet?), learn to see the beauty in them. Or at least be okay with them. Hating yourself is never cute!
Get Rid Of Toxicity
If you really want to be Kawaii, you must be a reflection of all things good. Even dark or creepy kawaii girls are still seen as adorable. To reach this level of happiness and positivity, you will need to let go of the things in your life that are making you sad and negative.
This does take time, of course, but it starts with making the effort. Your friends always make fun of you? Dump em. You browse around negative forums? Stop it now. How about your music? Is it filled with encouraging and inspirational lyrics, or does it talk about drugs, violence, and revenge?
The things you surround yourself with will, sooner or later, affect you, your thoughts, your actions, and your feelings. So be more aware of what you are exposed to on a regular basis. See what kinds of things your social medias recommend to you. Distance yourself from these negative toxic things or people.
Live More Honestly
Think about the cutest person or character you know. Whether you imagine a shy timid creature, or a more energetic positive one, there is one trait that tends to cross the board, and that is honesty.
Cute and kawaii people live honest, truthful lives. When you talk to them, you know they speak from the heart. They don’t have a reason to lie, nor do they see a reason to. Lying isn’t cute, and people you can’t trust isn’t cute either.
If they made a mistake, they will take responsibility for it. Even if it’s hard, even if they’ll be punished, they take accountability for their actions. If they realized they hurt someone, they will genuinely apologize. Living honestly means a lighter heart. You don’t feel on edge because you always think wisely about what you say and do.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is about making an effort to understand how others feel. The more we get out of our own needs and wants, and start to consider what someone else may be feeling or dealing with, it becomes easier to genuinely care for other people.
We’ll go into how to act on your empathy later in this article, but for now, just start considering what others may be feeling or going through.
Does someone always come to work stressed and frustrated? They may be an emotional burden on you, but perhaps they are taking care of 3 kids alone because their spouse doesn’t help out at home nor work. Maybe a newer employee lost their dad recently, but they don’t know how to handle their grief, so they seem quiet, closed off, and quite irritated when forced to socialize.
You come across someone who is smelly and wears worn clothes? Instead of trying to get away from them or assuming the worse, think about what circumstances they may be dealing with. They may be struggling, may be homeless and hungry. They may also be lonely and struggling, and they don’t have much hope for the future.
Some speeds past you and cuts you off? They may have got a call that their son had a seizure at school. Someone called you ugly? They may be insecure themselves and are picking on you to make themselves feel better. You never know!
But by practicing empathy, you’re getting outside of yourself and how you feel and you start to understand people’s actions and words a lot better. You won’t get as mad as people because you know sometimes, it’s not personal or against you, they just may be dealing with other burdens.
Think Positively
I’m not talking about the half full/half empty positivity, nor am I telling you be unrealistically happy and hopeful about everything in life. Rather, I need you to do two things. For something in the past, even if it sucks, try to think of something good that came out of it. And for the future and the unknown, believe that things will work out in your favor (and if it doesn’t, think of something good that came out of it).
Just like honesty and empathy, positive thinking is something that has to be practiced. Depending on how your life has gone so far, it may be really easy for you to be negative about everything and fall into a whole of depression. Once hope for a better life or future is gone, it’s hard to convince yourself otherwise.
But the mind is a powerful thing. As the saying goes, whether you believe it will or won’t, you are right. If you want something to happen and you believe it could happen, you’ll put in the extra effort and time, and go above and beyond, to make that thing come true. If you don’t, you won’t. If you want an A in the class, and you think you can make it happen, you’re going to study. If you’re already failing and don’t think you can pass, you’re not going to try.
As for the past, it’s in the past! Beating yourself up about it and letting it hold you back isn’t going to do anything for you beside poison your future. Let go if you can, but if you can’t, still try to see the good points out of it. You came 2nd place. It sucks! But you did place! You did beat 20 other people. It was a great experience and you learned a lot from it. Next year, you’ll be #1 for sure!
Even if you had a really sucky childhood, let’s say you were abused, not only did you survive and make it out alive, but you are much stronger than anyone, and you’ve learned so much in a short time on how to protect yourself. You were adopted? Doesn’t mean your birth parents didn’t love you. Usually, they can’t afford to keep you and want you to have a better life. At least you’re alive! Someone took care of you. And sometimes, another pair of parents chose you.
There is always a bright side, and the sooner you can start seeing the sun behind the clouds and the rainbow after the rain, life will change for you, and being kawaii will be more natural too.
Changing Your Surroundings
What does your room look like right now? Is it quite empty and dull? Is it full of dark items? Your surroundings, make a huge difference psychologically, so let’s change that.
Add Brighter Colours
If most of your items are dark or black, it’s time to add more youthful and feminine colours to it. Put a beautiful art piece on your wall. Add a fluffy purple carpet. If your curtains are so dark the sun doesn’t shine, get lighter ones.
The changes don’t have to be pricey either. Print out some photos of your favourite memories or make a collage out of post-it notes. You may be surprised what your dollar store has as well! Just brighten up your dull or dark room.
Listen To Happier Music
As mentioned in the toxicity section, the lyrics of the music you listen to does have an influence on you, so listen to songs with happier, encouraging, motiviating, inspirational, and fun lyrics. Songs that make you want to dance or that you find yourself smiling when you sing to it.
If you aren’t already, Japanese music is a great place to start. You can look into Jpop idol groups or check out my article on Japanese Music Videos that will brighten your day! As for Kpop, listen to cuter and happier groups like Twice, Gfriend, Orange Caramel, APink, April and Crayon Pop.
Accessorize Your Possessions
There are bound to be some items in your life that you see and use everyday. This could be your phone, your backpack, your notebooks or your favourite hat. Why not spice it up a bit with something cute? Add a phone charm of a bell or your favourite cute character. Add some adorable pins to your bag, along with a big fluffy accessory. Add some kawaii stickers to your notebook or draw something on the cover.
If you’re just now embracing your cuter side, it can be a little embarrassing, people may ask and judge, but don’t mind them. There’s nothing wrong with liking cuter things! If it makes you happy, you’ll find accessorizing your items will make you enjoy them a bit more.
Get A Kawaii Background
This is something you’ll see everyday, even if you aren’t paying much attention to it. For your phone, laptop, and other electronic devices, it’s time to add some kawaii flare with a cute background. You can find a fun or cute picture of your favourite character, maybe a sky scene, or a piece of art that makes you happy.
Get Some Flowers & Candles
For that extra feminine flare, why not add some flowers/plants (real or fake) or some candles to your room? Scents and essential oils do have a lot of benefits, and it’s especially nice when you want to destress. All in all, aim to add items that will bring more comfort, warmth, and femininity to your room and surroundings.
Self Care
Before we can get into dressings, let’s first take care of your mind and body!
Stay Clean & Fresh
Hygine is super important if you want to be super kawaii. As sweet as a person may be, being smelly, wearing stained clothes, or having greasy hair that really needs a wash isn’t cute in a lot of people’s books. Take regular showers, wash your face, brush your teeth, clean your nails, and so on. Who doesn’t feel refreshed and ready to take on the world after a nice hot (or cold) shower?
De-Stress Regularly
Feeling stressed? Frustrated? Annoyed? Adult life can suck a lot at times, so you need to make sure you are giving yourself time to de-stress. Figure out what helps you get out your frustration and anxieties. Made you like to dance. Maybe you love long drives.
You may go get a massage or a pedicure. Maybe you need a nice epson salt bath with some candles. Or you just need to binge your favourite Netflix series. Don’t forget to treat yourself with some nice wine or desserts.
Get Enough Sleep
Ahh yes, sleep. If you’re not getting enough sleep, not only will you feel tired, but sometimes grouchy and irritated. Turn in earlier, or take a cat nap during the day if you can.
Exercise Regularly
Exercising has many, many benefits. I’ve been quite inactive for years since I had desk jobs and worked from home, and it’s so easy to stay in one place all day, but we do need exercise. Our hearts, minds, and bodies need it.
Exercise increases endorphins and releases anxiety and depression, thus you’ll be happier! It also gives you more energy which makes you super kawaii! And if you ever need to help someone by carrying their items, you’ll be capable!
Fix Your Posture
Let’s be honest, slouching isn’t very cute. And if your posture sucks like mine, your body may also be suffering in the process. You can’t breathe as fully, your digestion may be slower, and you put a lot of tension on your muscles. Sooner or later, you may experience pain and may require a chiropractor.
So, while exercising, it’s a good idea to do moves that will help align your body. There are some characters and real life idols who have amazing posture, and that is part of their charm as it radiates elegence, so don’t neglect this.
Smile & Laugh More
This could have been in another category of this article, but I had to be put here, as this should be done for your own mental health, instead of impressing other people or ‘appearing’ friendly. If you aren’t actually happy inside, your smile will appear fake on the outside.
If you aren’t very happy, it’s time to get to the roots of it and continue to cut toxic things from your life. If your job is weighing too much on your mental health, maybe it’s time to look for something else.
If your day to day life just doesn’t give you a reason to smile or laugh, it’s time to change that. You need to incorporate things that bring you joy. Watch a funny series. Hang with your friends more. Volunteering is said to make people happier, and if you love animals, spend time at a shelter. The more you smile, the easier it becomes to smile, and happier people are super kawaii!
Sing Your Heart Out
Just thought I would throw this in. Music has a lot of power, and there’s nothing better than just belting your favourite songs out with all your might and passion. If you didn’t know, singing builds confidence and self-esteem as well. Not only can motivational songs make you feel powerful, but even sad or aggressive songs can help release stress and frustration. All I hear is wins!
If you don’t have that luxury due to cruel family members who tell you to shut up every time they hear your voice, head down to a karaoke bar. You will get your own private room for yourself or friends, and you can sing your heart out with mics and disco balls! That is real soup for the soul.
Getting Dressed
Okay, now onto the fun stuff. There are different kinds of cute and kawaii outfits, both sweet and gothic, but this section will cover general fashion rules. This section also won’t be as long because kawaii is more about personality than looks.
Figure Out Your Body Shape
Even if I gave advice, not everything works for everyone. I remember trying on traditionally cute kawaii stuff, and it just…didn’t seem to match me, mainly because I have a bigger chest, so wearing baggy clothes or ruffles just made me look really top heavy. Once I found out I’m somewhat of an inverted triangle, I stopped wearing baggy tops with skinny jeans, and rather wore more fitted tops with flared skirts.
Certain clothes may only be flattering if you’re tall or short. Some outfits may look amazing on a curvy individual but weird and unfitted for a flatter person. Point is, even if you bought the cutest piece of clothing, it may not make you look kawaii if it doesn’t suit your body type.
It is always better to work with your body first and see what type of clothes looks flattering on it. A great place to start would be this article on female body types.
Figure Out What Colours Match Your Tone
Next, you may have heard certain kawaii rules like wear more pastels, but not all skin tones suit pastels. I can’t tell you the amount of wigs I’ve worn, and while I thought it looked cool or cute at the moment, pictures will highly suggest otherwise.
I am black, so lighter wigs tend to wash me out. It would be hard choosing a brown wig due to it clashing. I did find out that black, certain shades of purples, and darker pinks can look nice though.
As for clothes, you also want to look for something that compliments and flatters your skin tone. It shouldn’t blend it and make you look nude. It shouldn’t overpower you nor make you look unusually orange, yellow or pink.
This does take some time. Pull out clothes from your closet, look at yourself in the mirror, take photos, ask your closest friends for their honest opinions and work through it. Here’s also an article to help you determine your tone and what colours suit you best.
Dress Conservatively
Being kawaii or cute is highly associated with childishness and innocence, so if you’re not sure if an item is more sexy or cute, ask yourself if you would let a 5 or 10 year old wear it. If it feels inappropriate for a child to wear, then it’s not kawaii.
In a lot of cases, you wouldn’t put a child in something revealing or suggestive. In the west, manymany be proud of their bodies and love showing it off, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it will come off as more mature orsexy instead of cute, or pure. You want people to fall in love with you for your personality and sweetness and not lust after you for your body, soaim to bemore conservative.
In Japan, it’s uncommon for a woman to show cleavage. But, some girls will show their waist, legs, and other parts. While some skirts may appear short, it isn’t necessarily sexy. In the west, showing thighs can be sexy, but I remember reading somewhere years back that the reason Japanese girls have no issues showing their thighs, is because everyone has thighs. Men and women have thighs, so why should it be sexualized? Just something to think about.
When shopping for clothes, conservative pieces with extra kawaii features would be those with frills, collars, or long/baggy sleeves. Finding baggy tops that are feminine is really adorable. Long skirts give a sophisticated vibe while shirt skirts that flare out (A-line, circle skirts) will feel younger.
Generally, Go For More Feminine Clothes
Being cute and kawaii is generally a feminine trait. When a male is called kawaii, it’s because he also hassome feminine traits, either with his face/body, or with his actions (happy, timid etc). So when it comes to clothes, think of things that are usually associated with women, like skirts, dresses, heels, cardigans, stockings, etc.
Along with that, aim for brighter or whiter clothes. Whites, pinks, purples, light colours and pastels, cute patterns like floral or polkadots. Things and colours men wouldn’t typically wear.
And while being conservative, you can still accentuate your figure. When it comes to dresses, for example, many dresses that aren’t revealing or bodycon can work. As long as it fits your body well, that’s great! A dress that is more frilly or poofy is also super adorable.
Think of the popular Japanese maid dresses for example. They will have poofy shoulders and they will wear a petticoat under the skirt, but the waist is well fitted, or a corset is used. This gives an hourglass figure which is super feminine, while still being conservative.
Wearing something that is super long or oversized can be adorable, especially if it is abright colour with a cute cartoon or pattern, but if it’s plain, it can just come off as boyish as you will look boxy. It can still look cute on a shorter flatter individual as it reflects a child, but if you have a bigger chest, it will just make you look bigger and rounder than you are (I speak from experience). However, adding a belt to accentuate the waist can easily fix that issue and make you look more feminine. You can also tuck in your shirt.
Here’s some other examples of some cute feminine outfits!
Layers Are Adorable
While styling is generally up to you, one thing that I see common that can make an outfit more adorable is layering. Not just wearing a skirt, but some tights or leggings. For Japanese uniforms, they will wear a blouse, cardigan, and a jacket, with a bow or tie. Wear a tshirt under a slighty revealing dress. And then add a scarf or belt somewhere too. The more layers you have, the fluffier and more squishy you appear, like a teddy bear!
Note: You Don’t Have To Dress Like A Kid
Depending on your age, it may be tempting to get clothes that will display youthfulness, but know that you don’t have to. If you want to, go for it! It’s your life, do what makes you happy. For those with smaller or flatter bodies, they definitely have the advantage of pulling off these adorable looks.
But, if you don’t feel comfortable, or you know those around you will judge and make fun of you, know that you don’t have to wear frilly dresses or clothes that make you look younger.
As a whole, still dress conservatively, wear brighter and lighter clothes, and just wear more feminine items like blouses or pencil skirts. Your demeaner will do the rest.
Lightly Accessorize
Yes, I am aware that decora and gyaru are styles, but I have a feeling most of you aren’t brave enough to rock those styles in public. So for the rest of you who want to embrace kawaii life all year round, let’s start off small.
You can wear accessories, but they aren’t mandatory. If you do, I find that rounder pieces, like a pearl necklace or a pastel bead bracelet, are cuter than sharper pieces like diamond rings or studded chockers. This could go back to the last example, where you should consider what a child would wear vs a grown woman.
Aim for more dainty pieces of real jewelry, and big or colourful pieces for plastic accessories. You may also opt for a big hat or scarf.
Rounder/Bigger Glasses Are Cuter
If you do wear glasses and you have the option to get something new, opt for something bigger and rounded, circular or square frames. I thinkin a way, bigger glasses make your face look smaller, and thus, more child-like.
If that isn’t an option, any frame is fine, but go for thinner frames instead of something too big or bulky in those cases. Light or skin-coloured frames will give a more dainty and feminine feel as well. All in all, avoid sharp/square frames (unless those best suit your face) or boyish colours like green. You will see a few examples of girls in glasses throughout this article.
Also, if you do not wear glasses, don’t buy glasses just to look cute. You don’t need them…and I think the world is past the fake glasses trend as well. However, if you really like glasses, do what makes you happy. Coloured contacts may do better if you want to have more fun though!
A Note On Shoes
When it comes to shoes, there aren’t any hard rules as it really depends what you are wearing. Runners can look adorable with an oversized tshirt. Boots can look great with dresses. Sandles and slippers with straps are also precious. If you have the option, Mary Janes are a great stylish pair for work and school.
Heels are always considered feminine, and it could really help with your figure. I would recommend shorter heels that you can walk around well in. Definitely avoid stilettoes* or heels with big platforms, as this can give off a more mature feel. As a general rule, if you can’t have fun in your shoes, avoid them.
Hair & Makeup
No Makeup Or Natural-Looking Makeup Is Best
If you don’t need makeup, then don’t use it. If you got some acne or marks that you don’t feel comfortable with, you can use some foundation or concealer to at least give you a more even skin tone.
But outside of that, keep your makeup simple. A light pink or orange blush, subtle eyeshadow, mascara that opens your eyes, and you’re good to go. Heavier makeups will make you appear more mature, so it is to be avoided.
Accentuate Your Eyes
If there is one feature you should highlight, it is definitely your eyes. Japanese characters, both animes, plushies, and mascots, either have really bigeyes compared to other features, or they have simple eyes but a really small nose and sometimes non-existent mouth (think Hello Kitty). As we said earlier, eyes are the window to the soul, and having bigger or brighter eyes gives a sense of wonder, innocense, and happiness.
You can use some tricks to make your eyes brighter, such as only applyingmascara to the top or other corners, lowering your water line with a lighter eye pencil, adding glitter/high light to your tearduct/inner corners and so on.
If it interests you, you can also invest in circle eyelenses. Many many Kpop and Jpop idols use these, and some will also use colourful ones. Feel free to explore, they really make a difference to making your eyes bigger. But don’t be ashamed of your natural eyes!
What About Hair?
Hair is tricky, because any hairstyle can be cute! If you can wear your hair down, that’s always sweet and feminine. Short bobs are also adorable as it is very childlike.
Updo’s that give your hair body or allows it to take up space, such as ponytails and space buns, are super kawaii! Bangs have always had a cute charm, and french braids give off a youthful appearance.
As long as the style flatters your face, I’d say go for it! My only advice would be against slicking back your hair and/or doing low buns, as these will give you a more mature look. Let your hair be free and imperfect!
Adding on, you can keep your hair simple, or accessorize it with hair clips, bands, or scrunchies. Wigs or colourful extentions can also give your hair a fun youthful boost.
If you need or want to wrap your hair, don’t worry! You can still look cute and kawaii. Pick a brightly covered scarf if possible, and use a cute clip or pin. While hair is certainly a feminine trait, don’t think that you can’t be cute without it! You can always gain more points with your outfit and/or demeaner.
Doing Your Nails
For nails, you have a few options. Natural nails are perfectly fine, as long as they are clean and maintained. You may also opt for a simple french nail, or get a cuter colour. You can be extra with some cute charms or stickers. As a whole though, shorter or more natural looking colours is of course more innocent and childlike than long sharp daggers.
If you do get extensions, don’t get anything too long as it gives a more mature look. It also prevents you from being to help others or participate in certain activities. Bold or dark colours isn’t bad options if it fits your style, but still try to learn on more feminine colours like pink, purple, pastel blue, instead of dark blue, green or red.
Make Scents Make Sense
No one likes strong and heavy scents. Not many people can stand it (I can’t), and it can sometimes give the wrong impression, such as you’re hiding up some bad BO. Strong scents tend to also be associated with adulthood. Think of the small of cigarettes or booze for example. It does make a strong statement.
So, if you’re considering a scent, keep it light. The soap, conditioner, or lotion you use is usually good enough. If you would like to leave a unique impression though, go to shops like Bath and Body Works, that sells body mists instead of ‘perfume’. The scent of flowers or fruity smells are definitely cute. You can also have fun with the scent of desserts, like candy apple or pumpkin pie. Smell as sweet as you are!
Kawaii Demeanor
This section isn’t a list of things you have to do, but you can choose to adopt these habits if you’d like. Take it with a grain of salt.
Take Your Time
In general, characters that take their time are adorable. Why? Because slowing down notonlygives you more time to adore them, but it’s also calming. There is so much hustle and bustle in the world, so being around a calmer spirit who enjoys their walks, does their chores meaningfully, and just takes their time with their craft is wonderful.
Start living in the moment and enjoying your day to day errands and joys. If you’re not in a rush, walk instead of taking the bus. Take a moment to smell the flowers. Savour each bite of your cookies. All we have is now. Don’t let others rush you either. Enjoy your meal and spend a few more minutes watching the sunset.
Be Patient
On that note, it’s important to practice patience. Too many people get annoyed, frustrated, and mad on a regular basis. Whether it’s waiting in line or getting stuck in traffic, they’re tapping their foot and yelling at others, as if their life is more important than everyone else who is also waiting.
If you can’t change the situation, there’s no point getting your emotions mixed into it. It sucks, but what does getting mad do? Be patient. Yeah, you waited an hour on the phone, but some waited twice as long. It’s not the associates fault that others were ahead of you, and taking it out on them isn’t going to make them want to help you more either.
If someone was late a few minutes, or only every now and then, forgive them. It happens. If you can tell a friend doesn’t respect your time and is always late, that’s another story that you should talk to them about. But otherwise, a minor convenience really is nothing. Kawaii people spread good vibes. They don’t start yelling and huffing cause they had to wait for something.
Hold Things With Two Hands
If you think about a lot of your favourite kawaii characters, you may just notice this. If they are drinking some tea, they got both hands on the cup. If they are holding books, it’s between both arms. If they are playing guitar, they got both hands on the guitar…kinda obvious, but you get the point.
In Japanese culture, holding things with two hands shows respect for both the item and the person you are handing it to. Continuing with taking your time, using both hands means you are committed to the task at hand. If you’re simply drinking tea, why does your other hand have to be free? Stop scrolling on your phone and enjoy your cha.
Make Eye Contact (Or Don’t)
If you aren’t too socially awkward, making eye contact is extremely attractive and adorable. Think of a kid who looks at you, especially when you are explaining something to them. The eyes are the path to the soul*, and by maintaining eye contact, it will make you appearmore trust worthy, and lets theother person know you are paying attention and listening.
However, it is also kawaii to be shy and avoid eye contact. Though, if you are talkative and ougoing, but avoid eye contact, many people will see that as untrustworthy or sketchy. Your eyes usually tell the truth afterall.
Be More Expressive (Or Don’t)
When we think about kids, they can be quite big and expressive, especially with their hands. There is something so precious about someone who is so passionate and engaged in what they are saying that their body naturally takes part in the story telling.
Some of us used to be quite expressive, but we were shamed and told to quiet down. Those who always use their hands in videos are sometimes told to calm down as well. So being big not only shows confidence, but also a childlike heart.
However, once again, there are shy and timid kawaii people, and there are the ones who don’t want to take up space or be noticed. Their hands may always be together or in their pockets. Either one works, if it is more naturally you anyways.
Be Quieter (If You Want To)
If you’re a loud person, don’t change yourself just for this, but still try to be aware of your volume. If you’re someone who people can hear from the other room, even when you’re not yelling, then it may be worth it to learn to speak at a quieter or softer tone.
You can still be an adorable energetic (genki) kinda kawaii girl, but as whole, quieter individuals are seen as cuter. They have a smaller presence and it makes others want to protect them by getting closer to them.
The quieter youare, the closer people have to be to hear you. If you’re too loud, people may have to keep their distance for their ear’s sake. But again, regardless of which you are, own it. But if you want to work on your volume, it may be worth it as well.
Share Your Happiness/Gratefulness
Smiling is definitely a way to share your happiness, and it’s also contagious! It can be hard for someone to keep a frown when around someone who is all about good vibes. We talked about building happiness in your own life in the first section, and that was because you want your smile, your joy, and your happiness to be genuine. Fake smiles aren’t that hard to spot.
On top of general happiness, being grateful internally and externally is also a great trait if you want to be kawaii. Be happy that you can go outside (especially after this pandemic), that you get to drink your favourite startbucks order, that you get to see your friend! Be grateful that you have your health, and your family, or your job or whatever.
By practicing happiness and gratefulness regularly, even if a negative experience just happened to you, it’s not going to make you sad for long. You know this is temporary and there’s so much more in your life that you are blessed with. Do you get to eat everyday? Do you get to have hot showers or baths? Do you get to live in a safe country where you also get to go to school and find your own job?
Life could always be worse, so be thankful for what you have and what you get to enjoy and take part in. Talk about what you’re grateful for and help others see the bright side of life too. Tots kawaii!
Be Proud Of Your Interests
Another super kawaii trait is someone who knows what they love and is not ashamed of it. They don’t pretend to like what everyone else does, not jump on trends to fit in. If they like anime, they like anime. If they love their plushie collection, they aren’t ashamed to show it off. If they got a thing for furries, or feet, or any other unique or quirky things, they will happily talk about it in detail.
As long as it’s not illegal, your interests are usually something that brings you joy, and that you are passionate about and love learning about. The second the topic is brought up, your eyes light up and you suddenly have the energy to discuss it for hours. Even if the topic itself is a little niche or obscure, people won’t stop you because they see how excited you get, and it’s adorable.
Embrace Childishness
Growing up sucks! Who’s with me! While we all have to practice adulting and get jobs and pay the bills and all that, that doesn’t mean you have to forfeit all childish things.
Who said you can’t swing in the park, or jump on trampolines, or enjoy some video games? Go and build that sand castle! Play a prank on your sibling! Blow some bubbles and see how long you can keep it alive. Be competitive and just have fun. Don’t let the child inside you die.
Be Available/In The Moment
If you are by yourself, then sure, have your headphones in, be on your phone, it doesn’t really matter. However, if you are in a setting where you are around people, it is definitely more adorable to be present and open to communicating with others.
Reading a book is fine because you can still hear your surroundings. You could also daydream or watch people. If you do have headphones in and it feels like someone is approaching you, or maybe you’re making a purchase, take them out and give that person your attention. They will appreciate it.
Admire Cute Things
Like attracts like. Aka, if you’re cute and kawaii, you’ll be attracted to cute and kawaii things. You don’t have to squeel and be a fangirl or anything crazy like that, but to start to appreciate the cuter things in life. If you’re like me in a cold and mature city like Toronto, the cuter and sweeter things tend to stand out. Things like a macaron shop, or a cute puppy, or plushies, or kawaii clothing.
Be Open To Trying Anything
If someone invites you to try a new activity or food, being open and willing to try is a great trait. You never know what you would like, so at least being open to new experiences and things is sweet. If someone needs a buddy to try a new activity, why not go with them?
Back to embracing your childishness, a lot of things are new to kids, but they don’t shy away from it. They aren’t afraid of making mistakes or embarrassing themselves. They just want to have fun and make the most of the opportunity.
Even if you don’t think it’s your thing, you maybe surprised. And they’ll definitely appreciate you for joining them.
Be Huggable
A lot of the fashion points above lead to this. Wearing revealing clothes may make others uncomfortable, wearing sharp jewelry or having fake nails can scratch people, and if you are dressed mature or give off a high maintenance appeal, people wouldn’t want to risk ruining your outfit, hair, or makeup or you getting mad at them for it. Kawaii people, characters, and items make you want to hug em and squeeze em, no?
Ontop of what you wear, displaying open and positive body language is important. Face the individual and don’t cross your arms. If anything, initiate hugs, and hug people like you mean it. Boy or girl, friends or strangers, everyone can appreciate a good hug!
Be Old Fashioned (Optional)
You don’t have to give up your electronics (not like that’s possible in this day and age), but it’s still cute to embrace some old fashioned habits and hobbies. Grab a book or newspaper instead of your tablet. Opt for CDs or old MP3 players instead of streaming subscriptions. Use a USB drive instead of saving everything to the cloud. When another power outage happens, you’ll be calm and positive because you didn’t rely or like technology that much anyways.
Old fashioned could also mean liking older things or items that are nostalgic to you. For example, still playing your Nintendo Wii or DS, even though the world has already moved on over a decade ago. Being able to appreciate these things and having the ability to take care of them is a precious trait. Not to mention, if you were playing your DS and someone wanted to talk to you, can simply close the screen. You can’t pause online games, which is the trend these days.
Other Kawaii Actions
This section is things you don’t have to do, and it may be unnatural if it isn’t you, but it doesn’t hurt if you want to be more adorable.
Head Tilts, fidgiting (playing with hair/shirt), hiding your hands in long sleeves, nudging someone by pulling their shirt, covering your mouth when eating or surprised, smile at others, tease others, take more pictures, get an artistic hobby, read in public,
Actions Towards Others
Listen & Remember
It’s a lonely world out there. So many people wished they had a friend. Some may have friends, but not true friends. Some ‘friends’ only want to use and abuse you, but they don’t really care about you. How do you know if someone cares though?
In most cases, it’s pretty simple. That person asks about you (not with malicious intent so sabotage or gossip), they listen to everything you have to say, and they remember these details. If you want to talk to them, they make themselves available and they give you their full attention. You rarely have to repeat something you already told them cause they were listening and made an effort to remember.
Think about the people in your life who you feel closest with. The people who you love and adore the most. Chances are, this person listens to you and you feel you can truly open up to them. Be this way for other people. We can all use an ear.
Cheer Others On
The world is filled with enough negativity as it is. If someone comes to you to share a dream or a project they’re working on, the last thing they need to hear is more negativity and doubt from you. While you can certainly give advice or share your concerns, you should generally and genuinely be supportive.
Be Kind. Not Just “Nice”
Too many of us think these words are the same and it’s a shame. Being nice is an act, to appear likeable and protect one’s own image your own image. Being kind is genuine, where you love and care about the other person, along with what’s best for them.
One analogy I created to help others see the difference is this. You have a friend who can’t sing well and is usually tone deaf. They tell you that they want to audition for American Idol. Do you happily cheer them on, or do you confront them and let them know they aren’t a good singer?
Whenever I watch the show, I have seen countless bad singers go on there with full confidence that they could win. Many have said that their family or friends said they were great too. But after they open their mouth, they not only get laughed at by the judges, but they’ve embarrassed themselves in front of millions of viewers.
I get that their friends and fam wanted to be nice and may have really supported their dream, but they didn’t care enough about that person to stop them and say, I think you need more lessons first. It can be hard to do, but a kind person will say what’s hard to hear because they truly care about their friend. I’ve actually had to say this to a friend, just in case she didn’t get the lead role in the school musical.
I don’t know about you, but I would rather a kind honest friend, than a friend who only seems nice but would withold information that could help me improve my life or save me from embarrassment. And thus, I aim to be that kind honest friend to my group. If you got toilet paper sticking our of your skirt, or something green in your teeth, I will tell you cause I care.
Be Understanding & Compassionate
I’ve spoken about empathy a few times, but now is the time to practice it. The meanest and most judgement people simply don’t care to know or understand other people. They see it a certain way, and that’s that. Or if someone inconvinienced them, they will think the worst of that person without trying to understand why that person treated them that way.
We should all aim to not only be kind, but aim to understand others on a deeper level. Ask more questions, get more information. Or if they aren’t very open, consider the possibilities as well.
In middle school, there was one girl who I heard rumours about before I got to meet her. People would gossip about how much she smelled and how she didn’t shower or how her clothes had stains and so on. I got to meet her through a mutual friend, as we all lived in the same building. I then met her again as we both signed up for basketball beginners, and she quickly became my best friend.
Now, I was never one to believe the rumours, nor did I really think about why she smelled. I really didn’t care. And the more we hung out, the less I even noticed it. When I went to her house, the answer was clear. She had a whole lot of pets. 3 dogs, 2 cats, hamsters and even a bird at one point. Thus, even though she showered everyday, she really couldn’t help her smell. But she was also blind to her own smell because of this.
Unlike the kind example above where someone may need to hear the hard truth so they could correct it, this is different. Even if I did tell her she smelled, there wasn’t much she could do about it, so there was no point in making it known. (On another note, it never made sense to me why people would point out other people’s acnes. That person clearly knows and has more likely tried so many products already).
But on that example, how many times do you judge someone because they smell? Or because they have dirty or ripped clothes? Or they’re kids cause a ruckus in the store? It’s easy to assume the worse or judge them for making your experience uncomfortable, but we should try to understand them and what they could possibly be going through.
In 90 Day Fiance, Big Ed gifted Rose a toothbrush and paste because her breath smelled. In a way, he assumed she wasn’t hygienic and wanted her to take steps. She then informed him that she had an ulcer and it couldn’t be helped. Not only was it awkward, but she super embarrassed and probably felt quite disrespected.
Point is, we never really know what people are going through. Regardless, there is no reason to make fun of someone or avoid them. We also shouldn’t take everything personally, as they may be struggling with something far beyond our comprehension. So be compassionate. If they open up to you, be understanding. Many people are struggling in silence.
Let them know you believe in them and that you’re there if they need your help. Check in now and then and let them share their ideas and success. Sometimes, all it takes is one believer for a person to pursue and reach their full potential. Be that person for someone. Everyone else only ‘believes’ when they see it happening, don’t be like them.
Help When You Can
I always have to make this clear. There is a difference between helping others and letting them take advantage of you. The difference is if you want to say yes, vs if you feel you can’t say no. People should only be asking you because they really need help or a favor, and not just cause they’re lazy or want to be selfish. Know the difference.
Otherwise, make an effort to practice random acts of kindness. Don’t just help others when they ask. Practice empathy and offer. An elderly person got on the bus, offer your seat. You see someone struggling with their bags? Help hold them or get the doors for them. Give a nice, non-creepy compliment to the barista.
If your friend doesn’t have a car and they mentioned a special event or a flight coming up, say “I’ll pick you up”, instead of asking if they’d like a ride. People may reject an offer because they don’t want to trouble you, but making a statement will mean you’re going to do it regardless. If it’s something like this where, they would more likely need or want a ride, they’ll definitely appreciate you for it.
Just like with rides, offer your time. Volunteer when asked, but also choose to volunteer at other places. You really never know how much you could help change the world, or at least some people’s lives, just by volunteering.
Let Others Help You
It can betempting tobe as independent as possible, especially if you don’t want to burden anyone, butthink about it for a second. When you help someone by choiceand they appreciate it, don’t you feel happy too? Allowing or asking others to help you is a way for them to feel good too. It also shows vulnerability which is super kawaii!
Next time someone asks if they can help, why not take them up on it? If you’re struggling to open a jar or bottle, don’t justkeep struggling, ask someone to assist you! Let your date hold the door open for you. Don’t think too muchinto it. Accept help when it’soffered, and ofcourse, when they’re done…
Show Your Appreciation
Don’t you hate it when you go out of your way to assist someone and they can’t even say a simple ‘thank you’? Whileholding a door may not seem that big to some entitled orignorant people, thatpersonstill had to stand there and wait for you. They didn’t have to. They could have let thedoor close in your face and dissappear in theelevator before you got your keys out.
All I’m saying is, if someone has ever helped or assisted you, be sure to give them a genuine thankyou. Be observant and recognize the small things that people do. Don’t take people for granted either. If your mom makes you food everyday, be sure to thank her and express how much you love her food. You won’t always have that. Thank your bus drivers, especially theones who stopped and waited for you.
If someone has been a quite helpful and you know you wouldn’t be where you are without them, never stop appreciating them, and be sure to get them a nice gifts or suprises now andthen, no occassion needed.
Sharing Is Caring
Sharing is essentially, a form of sacrifice. You could enjoy all those chips on your own. You could just take yourself for a pedicure. You could just be quiet about the lottery you won….you really don’t have to share your time, possessions, or money with anyone else. We aren’t kids anymore, no one’s going to force us to share. So those who do make an effort to share are a true gem in this world.
Just like with helping others, you don’t, or rather, you shouldn’t wait for someone to ask for. If you do, this usually has some kind of pride behind it. We love being in possession of something others want, and having them asks us puts us in a power position. Some may even use this position to ask for something they want in return.
Offering to share, on the other hand, is pure. “Would you like to try this?” “Hey, I picked up two, one for you!” “Do you want to go with me here? My treat!” “I saw this and thought you would like it!” Not everything has to be an object or related to money, but it’s the idea that you thought of them and offered it for no reason that makes it so special.
Give More Compliments
There’s nothing better than a compliment from a stranger that wants nothing from you, but made the effort to say they liked your outfit, or your phone case, or your smile. Even with friends or family, a compliment could really make their day, more so if they recently got a haircut, or they’re dressed up fancier than usual, or maybe they’ve working hard at losing weight.
Point is, you don’t have to say anything, and you definitely shouldn’t force yourself to find things to compliment people on. You don’t want to be fake like Regina from Mean Girls. Rather, if something does stand out to you, and you do truly like it, let that person know. It takes a few seconds, and that person feel extra special that their efforts were recognized and that someone else likes it. We can all use a little confidence boost.
This also goes for someone’s skills, talents, and intellect. If someone shares a piece they drew online that you admire, let them know. Many artists are insecure even if they’ve been doing it for ages. Maybe you got a really smart friend who always has the answers. Let them know you appreciate and admire them about it. You got a friend who is an amazing driver, let them know you always feel safe riding with them.
If you watched a friend’s performance, don’t just tell them ‘great job’ but let them know of something spefiic that you noticed and thought was super cool. It let’s them know you were actually watching them and maybe they worked on that thing for weeks or months and was hoping someone will notice. There’s so much you can compliment someone on, so keep an eye out and let them know.
Be Humble & Apologize
Did you know you can be confident and humble at the same time? Actually, let me rephrase that, truly confident people are humble at heart. True confidence comes from knowing ones self and ones capabilities, and it they are honest with themselves, they will know they don’t know everything, that they aren’t the best, that they aren’t perfect.
Sadly, too many people hold too much pride and ignorance, that they refuse to accept when they are wrong, and definitely will not apologize, even if they truly hurt someone. Pride is a dangerous thing.
A humble individual may carry self worth and love themselves, but they don’t see themselves as better or more important than others. They are not entitled or spoiled or stubborn.
As they continue to practice empathy, they may realize on their own that they may have said or did something that could have hurt someone, and to help ease the guilt, they will go out of their way to apologize and make amends. Or, if someone approaches them about how they were hurt or wronged by them, they will listen, understand, apologize, and learn from it.
It is always better to maintain relationships than to be right. You don’t have to always be wrong either. Friends can have disagreements and argue, you can agree to disagree. But if you realize you’re wring, it’s truly admirable and even cute if you can admit that. Just remember, no one likes snobby cocky people.
Stand Up For Others
This can be terrifying based on the circumstances, but it will make you super loveable. You don’t even have to be loud and scary to do it, but just making the effort, despite being small or meak, is adorable.
Standing up for others doesn’t have to be stepping into a dangerous situation or anything like that. Let’s say, someone was gossiping to you and making fun of someone else. Instead of just ignoring the comment or laughing along, say something nice about the person, or share a different perspective.
My ex-boss was a narcissist, and all he did was complain about other people. He would get mad when the bookkeeper took a couple days, and I would tell him that he took 3 weeks to sign a single document. Someone didn’t write the best report and he would insult their competance, and I would say, perhaps they weren’t trained, let’s have patience.
Once you feel comfortable sharing opposing opinions to defend people, it can become easier to speak up when many people are teasing someone or making them uncomfortable. Or maybe, someone is going off on a waitress for getting their order wrong, you can then step in and say ‘sir, that’s not very nice. People make mistakes. They’re doing their best’. It can be scary putting yourself in uncomfortable positions, but the victim will truly appreciate it, whether they know what you did or not.
Be A Friend To Everyone
You don’t have to see everyone as a close friend, nor be a fake friend (definitely don’t be a fake friend, if you really can’t stand someone, then make those boundaries), BUT for people you just met or aren’t close with, aim to be a friend to everyone. By this, I mean being kind to them, listen to them, help them, consider them and share things with them.
It may take a bit more effort at first to do these things for people you aren’t close with, and you may not want to help those you don’t like, but you’ll always feel better knowing you were kind and helped those who needed. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
Again, you don’t have to actually build a connection with them, especially if they aren’t your type of person or you don’t vibe with them. Never force yourself to like someone or be a fake friend with them. All I’m saying is to be so likeable that people want to be around you and they would help you or stand up for you if need be.
If you could be someone who others can trust or go for comfort, isn’t that the most kawaii thing ever? Perhaps your kindness could even turn some of the grinchiest people into warm, caring people too! In this dark, cold world, be a light for everyone <3
Conclusion
I hope this article has helped you change internally and externally so you can become to truly kawaii pereson I know you can be. Did any of these tips open your eyes? Do you have other tips you’d like to add? Share your comments below! 🙂
