My Testimony

Honestly, the bible has confronted me about so many things and has humbled me greatly. There were things I learned and adopted growing up such as not lying, taking accountability, being a girl of my word, and learning to apologize, but the lessons I’ve learned after being saved completely dismantled my identity and destroyed the things I once had pride in. Everything I used to believe was right was wrong, and even the good deeds I did were done with selfish intentions such as gaining attention or validation.&nbsp;</b>I was 28 when I was truly converted, and as I’m writing this at 32 years old, God is still pruning me. It’s been a very painful journey, full of tears and grief, but I know it’ll be worth it. I used to think I was the gold standard for how humans should be, but now I’m ashamed of all I used to be, and I see how much trauma has made me who I am, so I’m looking forward to this new version of myself. These were some of my biggest lessons and revelations since I was saved, in the order that I learned them. I’ll try to keep them as short as possible so you can do your own meditation and research on the concept. Hopefully, you won’t have to go on such a heart wrenching journey to learn the same:

1. We Are Side Characters In This Story, Yet We Live In The Best Universe Possible
I don’t think Christians really think about this much, but I guess as an anime fan, I got to see many kinds of worlds and scenarios play out, ones where some have powers and some don’t, where the evilest of people have gained control over the world, where the gods of that universe don’t play fair and so on. I’m very thankful we don’t live in a world where some people have access to a death notebook where you just write someone’s name in it and they’re dead, or where people can use alchemy to fuse their daughter and dog together, or where a gigantic spirit or monster could pop out of nowhere and destroy a city. Our world may seem boring, but it’s really not. We have such beautiful skies, and a wide variety of foods, and God has given us the intelligence and creativity to create music and art and toys and vehicles and all these activities. But most of all, we have a God who actually sees and care about us. In Philosophy, they talk a lot about distant gods or gods who have abandoned us completely, but our God is actively watching. Not only does He watch, but He is actively reaching out to us in love. He could have been just and damned us all to hell. He could also be a very strict and cruel God that would punish us the second we do sin, one who rules with fear, but our God is slow to anger and full of mercy. He also came here as a man to not only die for our sins, but to fully understand the human experience, to know what it’s like to be bullied, rejected, betrayed, and in pain. He really didn’t have to….. And while anime may make it seem like a cool thing to be a main character, I think it also portrays what a heavy burden it is, especially if you’re playing the hero in the story. It probably isn’t the nicest thing to be a side character in a story where you have to rely on a sole human being to save the world, but if God is our hero and He is for us, we don’t have to worry about anything. He has this under control. And that leads to my next point. 

2. Anxiety Is A Choice. God Tells Us Not To Worry, Cause There’s Nothing To Worry About
As mentioned in my testimony, my family always struggled, so I started working pretty early to help my mom financially, and lived constantly worried about going broke and being homeless….but despite us struggling, we always had a roof over our head and food on our table. Even though I moved out and was even more scared, God has proven Himself faithful all this time, so why would I doubt He could take care of me now? Of course, I didn’t have much of a relationship with Him initially, but after I was saved and I read the verses telling us not to worry about food or clothes (Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:22-32), and I was told ‘do not fear’ was in the bible 365 times, I realized that God really wants us to trust Him in this regard. Stress and anxiety isn’t good for the body, but if we have to rely on ourselves, or the people around us, of course we’ll be stressed! Even if we work really hard and try to control the situation as much as possible, we never know what could happen. A hurricane or a wildfire destroyed your home, a loved one got sick or died, your job started laying off people or closed down completely, we can’t control the world. But the thing is, God is in control and He cares about us, so if I had to trust anyone with my wellbeing and my future, it better be Him. Why do you think the bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow? (Matthew 6:34). And listen, that’s not to say God will always allow you to live a comfortable or wealthy life, but we trust that no matter the situation, we’ll be fine. If I have a roof and a home, that’s amazing! If I end up homeless, surely, God will still give me enough food to eat and a safe place to sleep. And hey, if I die, I get to be with Him! So why worry? While I have this home, It’s good to praise and thank Him for this blessing. When I got worried as I was nearing the end of the line, He allowed me to get more work at my job as my supervisor left, and then my aunt’s basement tenant was being deported so there was space for me and my cousin to move in allowing us to both save on rent. God is good. I could have worried and stressed the entire time, but even the bible says that being anxious doesn’t add anything to your life (Matthew 6:27). Trust God, pray for your needs, and then let Him handle it (Philippians 4:6-7). No matter what may come, you’ll be okay!

3. The Real Christian Walk Is A Lonely One
It’s funny when we say this, because yes, Christianity is considered the biggest religion with about 30% of the world’s population, and yet, even in the bible, even amongst God’s chosen people, true believers were only a remnant. The bible gives us countless verses and warnings about false believers, whether it’s about false teachers (2 Peter 2:1-3), wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15), those who say they are of Christ but live in sin and darkness and so on (2 Corinthians 11:13-15, Jude 1:4, Titus 1:16). And even amongst those who do look good because they cast out demons, prophesy, and do many good works, Jesus Himself won’t allow them into heaven because He doesn’t know them and they are ‘workers of iniquity’ (Matthew 7:22). Humans can certainly deceive each other by looking the part, speaking right, having big platforms, singing loudly or speaking in tongues, and even doing things Jesus commanded us, but we’re told to look for fruit. Are they actually loving, peaceful, gentle, meek and humble? Are they actually obedient to God’s law, even when no one is watching? Is God just a Sunday morning thing for them, or do they walk in the light all week long?

Listen, Jesus had tens of thousands of people listen to his sermons, and multitudes would come out to see Him and His miracles, but only a small portion of them were His day-to-day followers (while 12 were chosen, we are informed of other followers like John Mark and Mary Magdalene. He also sent 70 people out into every town to spread the gospel in Luke 10). And even amongst his followers and disciples, 2 betrayed Him, and the rest fled when He was arrested. There is a possibility that some people in the crowd who were waving palm leaves and shouting ‘hosanna’ in Matthew 21:9 could be part of the same crowd shouting ‘crucify Him’ 2 days later in Matthew 26:34. People change, especially if their own livelihoods are on the line. Jesus even says brother shall deliver brother to death and father to child in Matthew 10. Paul, a man who would think could tell the signs of a true believer based on his letters, even he was blind sighted when people who once was with him promoting the gospel now became an enemy of Christ (Philippians 3:18-19), and people he considered faithful friends later abandoned and betrayed him (2 Timothy 4:16-17). There are many times followers of God are left alone, such as John the Baptist in the wilderness (Luke 1:80), or John the Beloved on the Island of Patmos (Revelation 1:9), and times they have to stand up alone, like Caleb when the other spies and multitude didn’t want to fight for the promised land (Numbers 13), or Elijah when facing off against the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18), so we can’t expect to always have people around us to support and encourage us. If we depend on the crowd or on our church or teachers, we’re in a dangerous place spiritually because they may have doubts, fears, and false theology that could even lead us astray. The bible makes it clear that the path that leaves to salvation is narrow and few are on it (Matthew 7:14)…

4. …But God Wants To Be Your Everything
True, radical Christianity is a lonely walk, and while God certainly gave us the church to be our spiritual family, you know what else He gave us? Himself! I don’t think the majority of Christians understand just how obsessed God is with us. Think about it…this is GOD, creator of the universe, above all, nothing like Him…and yet, He wanted to walk alongside Adam and Eve in the garden, desired to dwell among the Israelites in the wilderness, came here as a human being to relate to us and die for us, and now desires to live within us (Holy Spirit). Additionally, while God is our heavenly Father, He also refers to Himself as our Husband, Brother, and Friend (Isaiah 54:5, John 3:29, Hebrews 2:11, Romans 8:29, Matthew 12:50, John 15:13-15). He tell us that He is our Comforter, Protector, Provider, Helper, Deliverer, and so much more (John 14:26, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 91:1-2, Hebrews 13:6, Psalms 18:2, Philippians 4:19, etc). If we truly embraced all He desires to be for us, we technically wouldn’t need anyone else, right? Of course, God uses other people to love, bless, comfort, and provide for us, but He also hopes those people would connect us more to Him. He gives us earthly fathers so we can relate to Him as our heavenly Father, thus, a broken family or absent dad can certainly get in the way of us seeing how He really is, but regardless, He is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). Even if our fleshly dads abandoned us, God would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He could also do ‘exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think’ (Ephesians 3:20), and He desires to pour out more gifts and blessings on us (James 1:17, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Malachi 3:10, Luke 11:11-13). He has ever hair on our heads numbered (Luke 12:7) and watches us every single second of the day (Psalm 139)……and yet, we don’t really want Him or think about Him much, do we? How many of us actually take the first commandment that seriously? Works are good, but He made us so He could love us and be loved by us. The fact that Enoch walked with God and God took Him should tell us everything we need to know about the kind of relationship God desires with us. Just something to think about.

5. All Good Gifts Are From God, And That Includes Your Traits And Privileges, So There’s Nothing To Boast About
How often do humans claim they have achieved things by their own power or wit. It’s hard to think differently when we give big awards to only the singer even though they have a whole team writing and producing their music, along with musicians, backup dancers, and videographers behind them. But even if they really were a self-produced artists, it is God who gave them their singing gift in the first place. And before all that, God gave you parents or caretakers who took care of you when you couldn’t do anything for yourself. He placed you in whatever country that allowed you to have the rights, privileges, and education that allowed you to pursue other things. He also gave you your healthy and/or capable body that could do certain things. A mind that can digest and create things. Hand that could learn certain crafts and talents. Not to mention, there are over 1000 ways to die (definitely worth the watch). You could have died in natural disasters, car accidents, terrorist attacks, wild or poisonous animals, and via various kinds of diseases…and yet, you are alive. So many kids grew up in the hospital, so many people don’t have one or a few of their senses, others lost their abilities later in life and regret not doing things when they had the chance. Too often, we think we’re special and look down on those who can’t do what we do or haven’t achieved much, but we should show more compassion on those who may never get to do what they want, and use our gifts to encourage and bless others instead.

6. We Are All Different, and That’s a Beautiful Thing. Being Submissive Is Also A Beautiful Thing
Growing up, I saw myself as the gold standard, and often got frustrated with people who didn’t think, work, or care as much as I did. My mind started to shift when the singer of my band introduced me to MBTI types. My male bandmates drove me crazy because I gave them a whole year to learn a handful of songs, and they still didn’t have it down, and I just couldn’t understand why until then. And while I still felt my type (ENFJ) was unique and superior, I started appreciate other types thanks to my cousin/roommate (INTP) who was the complete opposite of me. While he too tested my patience quite a bit, he protected me in more ways than one (ie putting fear in our landlord so he’d stop harassing us or killing bugs for me), and he was able to do things that I would probably never care to learn or try like installing new lights and switches. Year prior to all this, while I did hate men for a while after dating and experience traumatic moments by them, I couldn’t hate them for long because I know how useful men are in this world. As much as women may believe they can do whatever men can do, how many of us would actually want to be deep in sewers, taking down wild animals, going after criminals, climbing poles in the middle of a storm to restore power, or go to war for our country? I know there are some, but I’m not one of them. 

Now, going back even further to when I first read the bible as a teen, I started to meditate on God’s vision for gender roles and the family, and I knew logically it was best. This was also supplemented when I’d watch shows like Maury and Cheaters as I noticed when the woman works, raises kids, cooks, and does all the chores (aka 3 full time jobs), and the man only works or may be a lazy bum at home, of course she’s going to nag and ask him to do more. But then he goes off and cheats with a woman who ‘appreciates and respects him’. Men have a big ego, and it is in their nature to protect and provide, but we have to give them space to do so. Listen, women can certainly do anything a man can do, and even more since we can give birth and nurse. The bible also shows how wise and cunning we are, and how we were able to stop or take down some big or mighty men (ie Delilah with Samson, Abigail with David, Jael with Sisera). Adam and Abraham also made big mistakes by heeding the advise of their wives instead of simply obeying and trusting in God’s word. But the thing is, we we are also emotional, curious, and open to the unknown, and that’s why most witches are women. That’s why churches ran by woman tend to be more progressive and open to unbiblical things, and that’s why when it comes to the faith, it’s actually a wonderful thing to have a more logical and simple man be on top to create guard rails so we don’t go so astray with our imaginations and fall into mischief and heresy. As a woman, I know our power. I was the leader type myself….but honestly, after the band, I don’t care to lead anymore. It’s exhausting! I thoroughly enjoyed playing at church where they just told me what to play each week and I got to focus on just playing my part. Instead of competing with men for the few roles that actually suit their nature and in turn overburdening ourselves with additional responsibilities and stress, why don’t we just let them lead?  

Now, I totally understand why most people don’t want to submit, and that’s because in our sinful broken world, people in charge tend to take advantage and use or abuse those under them. The bible, however, makes it clear that leadership and submission is a 2-way street. The leader, whether it’s parents, a husband, or the pastor of a church, are expected to not only teach and guide, but to also provide and protect those under them, physically, mentally, and spiritually. If those in submission are ever in trouble or danger, the leader must be willing to sacrifice themselves to save them. Christ does not lead through fear, nor does He force people to obey, He loves and provides for us first. And then in return, the children, wives, or members of the church should love, support, respect, encourage, and help the person in charge. They trust and believe that the leader cares for them and truly wants the best for them, thus making it much easier for them to obey and submit. If there are times they don’t necessarily agree with the leader, they should be able to share their heart and concerns with them, and the leader should be open to opinions and corrections, but ultimately, we allow the leader to have the final say. We may not always agree at the time with what God commands us to do nor understand His way of thinking, but we continue to follow and obey because we trust that He knows all and everything will work out for our good. To be covered by a leader, and to have them bare the heaviest burdens, is a beautiful thing. Being a leader is hard, and there’s many things they may face that they don’t share with those under them because they don’t want to appear weak or have the others worry, but that’s why the least we can do is listen and encourage them, and not make things hard for them. Hebrews 13:17 says “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”

7. We Don’t Save People. Only God Does. And With Gifts of the Spirit, We Are All Equally Useful For Reaching The Lost
When I was first saved, I thought my knowledge and understanding of the word, my logical arguments, and other evidence would be able to convince anyone to convert, but boy was I wrong! Among my friends, they either didn’t believe God existed (and even if there was evidence, they still wouldn’t follow Him), they rejected God because of their lifestyle (ie LGBT, love of sin), or they were Christian but have left the faith due to church hurt or just wanting freedom. I knew a guy who got triggered and angry the second I brought up Jesus, and it was because his family asked God to safe his dad and God didn’t come through, so they all rejected the church and started consulting in shamans instead. It’s very discouraging when you’re so excited to share your faith, but everyone around you truly seems to hate and reject your God. But what makes this backlash worse is believing that it’s your responsibility to convert them, and if they aren’t saved in the end, it’s your fault….but that kind of thinking isn’t biblical at all. 

When I stumbled across verses that talked about pre-destination (Ephesians 1:4-5+11, Romans 8:29-30, Romans 9:15-16, Acts 13:48), it was quite humbling, but also assuring. God already knows who will be saved because He chose them before the universe was even created. He knows His sheep and they hear His voice (John 10:27-28). And God gives them the power and knowledge to believe the truth and be saved (John 1:12). All we can do is sow seeds and water them, but the harvest is of the Lord’s (1 Corinthians 3:6). Now, I know some people reject pre-destination because they assume that means God made people do evil so they’d be damned (double pre-destination), but my understanding is we are all destined to hell by default since we are born into sin and we all fall short (Romans 3:23, 5:12+19), but God chose to have grace and mercy on a few (Romans 9:15). And while God would totally love to save every single person (John 3:16, 1 Timothy 2:4, 2 Peter 3:9, Ezekiel 33:11), love has to be choice. And just like how not every single person would like you or me, there’s no way every single person would like God. It’s been interesting evangelizing as I may be sharing a verse that brings me great hope and joy, but it actually despise the other. For example, I love that God is jealous, but others think He’s clingy and prefer freedom. And of course, many people don’t like our God because He ‘killed many innocent people’ in the bible, but to me as one of God’s chosen children, it’s reassuring that if I was ever in danger, surrounded by enemies, ‘a thousand shall fall at my side, and ten thousand at my right hand’ (Psalm 91:7). While God loves everyone, He has a special love and protective nature for those who are His. And at the end of the day, believing in God isn’t so much the issue as it is believing that He is good and that He is love. Satan’s biggest lie to humanity is that God is lying and is holding out on us, so we have overcome this world when we believe that God is who He says He is: loving, kind, compassionate, full of mercy, sacrificial, generous, etc. 

Lastly, I want to touch on gifts because they are the best tool to reaching the lost. If you grew up in a church like mine that doesn’t believe God speaks and claims gifts have ceased, you have no choice but to believe in your own words, strategies, charisma, and such to reach the lost…but if gifts were made for the church, and the church still exists now…and the Holy Spirit is in us and He is actively working to bring people to Himself…why would we think gifts are no longer active? Now, I’m not talking about random gibberish tongues that doesn’t edify anyone, I’m talking gifts of healing, prophesy, faith, miracles, and words of wisdom and knowledge (Romans 12:6-8). God knows what someone needs to hear in that moment, and He knows what is needed to convert their hearts. If we are heeded to Him, He could give us information that no one else could possible know, and that would cause the person to believe.

Sure, we could certainly shove countless verses down their throat and make them feel condemned, could even argue logically with an atheist on why our faith is real….but perhaps, all they needed was a hug and to be told ‘God still loves you’ because they are broken inside and believed God rejected them due to their past. I always love hearing stories of people who were just outside going about their business when they hear God telling them to give a random person their last $25, or to tell them a very random phrase, and while they didn’t really want to or thought it was very weird, they chose to be obedient. To the receiver, they were just asking God for help or for a sign, and in that moment, they knew He was real and went on to give their lives to Him. As much as a charismatic preacher may fill up seats, a more humble and slow preacher who is filled with the Holy Spirit will actually touch hearts. I read a book on prayer in my first year and it made the point, ‘how dare we try to do God’s work without Him?’ and that’s something to truly meditate on. All in all, I could study for years and create books filled with arguments to defend God, but a person who never studied at all but is abiding in God and received a word would have way better results at reaching the lost, Additionally, I would pat myself on the back if I thought I won a soul, but the other person could only give God the glory for it, and that is what God wants and prefers. 

8. Character Attracts More People Than Apologetics And Arguments
Christians are known to talk the talk, but rarely do we walk the walk, and this is a big issue. At the end of the day, even if someone gave you the most amazing and compelling argument for their religion, if that individual isn’t someone you’d actually want to be like, or they’re more miserable and struggling way more than you are, their faith isn’t going to appeal to you. A lot of unbelievers have shared that they like the teachings of Jesus and what God has to offer, but due to the judgement they’ve felt or hypocrisy they’ve seen amongst church goers, they aren’t interested in joining. But imagine if we actually reflected God’s loving, kind, patient, gentle, sacrificial, humble heart. Imagine if we had joy, peace, and hope that no one else in this world seems to have. Imagine if we truly lived holy (set apart) lives and kept our God’s law even when mocked or persecuted for it. Only then would someone really listen to what we have to offer, but they may even ask and inquire first. If we live such good lives among unbelievers, 1 Peter 2:12 says they too may start to glorify our God. We also need to practice being more satisfied with all we have instead of complaining or envying what others have, as those are sins in itself (Philippians 2:14, 1 Corinthians 10:10, Proverbs 24:1, Exodus 20:17 [10th commandment]).

Additionally, the bible says people will know us by our love, especially the love we have for one another (John 13:35), so we really do need to practice loving everyone, not gossiping, not slandering, not hating, nor mocking, not judging other people. Of course we’re not going to be perfect, but we should strive to be holy as God is holy, while still being humble enough to confess our sins and faults to other people. We need to be people who others can be honest with and feel compassion and comfort from, because God listens to us and has compassion and comforts us. Our arms need to be open to anyone as God’s are. Remember, God delivered Israel before asking if they wanted to be in covenant with Him and giving them His law, and Jesus as well died for our sins and invites us into relationship with Him before He starts to change our heart. Don’t get this backwards and expect others to convert and be perfect before loving them. No one should have to earn your love because God loves freely, even His enemies. Matthew 5:44-46 tells us to ‘love our enemies, bless those who curse us, do good to those who hate us, and pray for them that despitefully use us and persecute us, that we may be the children of our Father which is in heaven, for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. If we only love them that love us, what reward have we? Aren’t others just the same?’. Our love will attract more people to God than arguments and condemnation ever could.

And another important point to consider is that, while Christians in the West may make converting to Christianity seem like such a simple choice, and the gospel certainly is so simple that a child could understand and believe, I think we underestimate that a lot of the unbelieving world knows that they will have to give up a lot of their lives and even their identities and securities before committing to Christ. For some people, they aren’t ready or willing to convert just yet because they have a lot of worldly dreams, pleasures, and desires that they would like to do first, things they know the bible condemns. And for people who live in persecuted countries or who have families of other faiths like Muslims, choosing to believe in Christ could mean losing their loved ones, their homes, and even their lives. We can try to still convince them by saying they’ll have a new spiritual family or a better life above, but unless people can get a taste of that beforehand, it’s a tremendous risk and sacrifice that many people aren’t ready for. Are you willing to give them a room if they get kicked out? Would you be able to give them a good job if they walk away from prostitution? Can you assure them health if they stop seeing their witch doctor? Can you guarantee protection if they leave their satanic cult or gang? We have to have empathy for people and understand that most would rather stay somewhere safe and comfortable, especially if they feel loved and supported there, rather than take a big gamble into the unknown and possible lose everything, and we have to respect them for at least ‘counting the costs’ (Luke 14:26-33) instead of making this life-altering decision ignorantly or flippantly. It really isn’t that easy of a choice for many people, but we could make it easier if we show them the love of God and can prove that the body of Christ will protect and provide for them.

9. And Arguing In General Is Pointless and Ungodly
This was one of the biggest things the bible has ever confronted me with. I thought that getting others to hear and know the truth was of the greatest priority, but if we’re not doing it in love, we are like resounding gong or clanging cymbals (nails on a chalkboard in modern terms) (1 Corinthians 13:1), and we risk pushing people further away from God. The bible makes it clear that those who have ears to hear will hear (Matthew 11:15). Jesus also got frustrated when the Pharisees didn’t understand Him and said ‘they are of their father the devil…when he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own, for he is a liar and the father of it. And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not’ (John 8:43:45). He also told Pilate that ‘everyone that is of the truth hearteh my voice’ (John 18:37). He also said “He that heareth you heareth me; and he that despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me.” (Luke 10:16). Thus, if someone really didn’t care to hear the biblical wisdom I was sharing, or they were even mocking and spitting on it, I shouldn’t be wasting time on them, let alone, arguing with them, getting frustrated, and perhaps even saying or doing things in the flesh out of anger. The first verse that made me rethink my approach was “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” (Matthew 7:6). I was giving my precious jewels of wisdom and love to people who really were trampling on them and then taking it out on me, but I should have been wise. If they aren’t ready to receive the gospel, I pray for them, and allow God to do His work in them in His own good timing. 

When it comes to other believers, boy, quite a few of us love to argue. We argue in church, we argue online, we make videos to rebuke and confront each other, and complain about each other, and fight about which denomination is right, and which rules are binding and this and that….but we have all been disobedient to the word of God. James 3:14-18 says “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” 2 Timothy 2:23-26 also says “But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes. And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.” Titus 3:9-11 adds “9 But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain. A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.” If Jesus it he Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), and the bible says we should live peaceably with all men (Hebrews 12:14, Romans 12:18), clearly, someone who is always caught up striving and arguing with people isn’t following God’s ways. I’ve repented of this mindset, and my relationships have certainly gotten better too! 

10. We wrestle not against Flesh and Blood, so We Shouldn’t Get Frustrated With People
Just before I was truly saved, and for quite some months afterwards, Ephesians 6:12 really stuck to me. It reads “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” When you’re carnally minded and conditioned by this world (and even more so if you live in a city like Babylon, mixed with various cultures and religions, and all media is acceptible), you won’t really see it. As mentioned in my testimony, I didn’t think about the spiritual world at all. I knew God, angels, and demons existed mentally, but I didn’t understand or believe they had any effect on our world until late 2022. But it is true that satan controls this world, and most media is influenced by him. Not only was sin like fornication, lying, gossip, murder, love of money and this world and so on in the majority of shows, along with lust, pride, and partying in the majority of music, but the majority of kids shows would feature magic and witchcraft in a positive light. The education system would tell you that God doesn’t exist and we need to think logically and scientifically, often pushing evolution as fact instead of the theory it is, and we can always check out books, the internet or AI for answers instead of asking God. Hospitals and pharmacies have also been made so we would depend on human innovation and drugs instead of seeking God and His natural remedies for healing, and science is always trying to push the boundaries to not only make men live forever, even trying to make us cyborgs by installing technology in our bodies…and people are all for it! More and more people are losing their critical thinking skills and they’re excited about the convenience of technology, even if it means less freedom and privacy. 

Despite my rant, I’m not worried. Revelation tells us about a time when people will take the mark of the beast, and without it, they cannot buy and sell. Doesn’t that sound like a kind of microchip? It also tells us about man bowing down to an image of sorts, and it certainly sounds like AI or some kind of hologram. Technology is pushing us towards this time, and it makes sense why even tech leaders don’t think humanity will continue on for much longer. Sadly, most Christians aren’t aware of this because their bibles have been collecting dust and they’re too caught up with the world. So many homes have a bible, but they have been collecting dust for decades, and most Christians don’t even go to church these days, though churches often only cover a small portion of what the bible actually teaches. Studies say only 5% of Christians hold a biblical world view, so it’s not wonder why God’s people are destroyed from lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). After Ephesians 6:12, we’re told to put on the armor of God, but if people don’t know what the bible has to say, they’re missing out because the majority of it is rooted in knowledge, understanding, and belief in God’s word, such as the Belt of Truth, the Shield of Faith, and the Sword of the Spirit. Always remember that Satan used the word of God to try to tempt Jesus, but Jesus knew the word better and was able to counter his attacks. If false teachers and heretical churches were teaching 100% bull$h!t, trust me, only a very small fraction would fall for it, but usually they’re speaking at least 90% truth, and the rest is twisted scriptures or external interpretation, and then they keep you there through either fear (being told you’ll go to hell if you leave, or you’ll be ex-communicated) or pride (you believe the group is special or wiser than the rest of humanity, that you know something no one else knows). 

Continuing on, what made learning about spiritual warfare so heartbreaking for me was thinking about the many people who we just mark off as ‘crazy’ may actually be demonically possessed or oppressed. Drug addicts, schizophrenics, and other mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and depression, and even some health problems that modern medicine can’t seem to solve, a lot of these people may be dealing with demons. Not all of them, I’m not saying everyone needs an exorcism, but in the bible, we’re told about people who were crazy and uncontrollable, people who were sick, and even people who were dumb or deaf, who were healed and acting completely normal after a demon was casted out of them (Matthew 8:16, Matthew 10:1, Mark 5:9, Mark 16:17, Luke 8:30, Luke 11:14-28). What made me so sad was thinking that, if I previously came across people who were dealing with this (and I certainly noticed the signs in individuals I knew only then), I wasn’t in a place spiritually to help them. All Christians have the power to cast out demons in the name of Jesus, but the bible shows us clearly that some demons only come out through prayer and fasting (Matthew 17:21, Mark 9:29), and other demons are so powerful that if you’re not a known child of God and they don’t see you as a threat to their kingdom, they can attack you as well (Acts 19:15-17). Casting out demons isn’t something you do casually. And if you’re living in sin or messing with the occult, you could open doors and allow them into your life as well. All that to say, the Christian population, especially in the West, we’re not ready for such spiritual battles because most are ignorant, many are doubtful about the power of God, and others are walking in darkness. The holier we walk though, the more God’s presence will shine in us, and the bigger threat we are against the kingdom of darkness. Satan knows our weaknesses and he can use other people to cause us to sin, especially unsaved boyfriends or girlfriends, thus why we need to be equally yoked and cautious of the influences around us.

11. We Need To Look At The Log In Your Own Eye To Avoid Pride and Hypocrisy
The worst thing about pride is that we never see in ourselves. As humans, it makes sense that we do, believe, and say what we think is right, or at least what they think would benefit them most and they won’t feel bad about it. There are many people who commit crimes, and while some will deny any wrongdoing, others can admit it was against the law but still feel justified in doing it. For example, a hungry person may think it’s fine to steal groceries, but at the end of the day, it’s still theft. And the funniest part about humanity, that same person may hear about kids stealing clothes from a boutique and judge them for stealing….but who’s to say those kids didn’t need to raise money for their families or schooling? Maybe they felt trapped in a gang and had no choice. We can all make excuses to brush off the bad we do, while looking down on others for doing the same thing without considering their reasons or circumstances. Romans 2:1 addresses this though, “Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.” Regardless of your whys, you are both guilty before God, and until we can confess without shifting blame like Adam and Eve did, we must not think we have truly been forgiven. 1 John 1:8-10 says “8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” 

Now, a verse that made one of the biggest shifts in my walk was Matthew 7:1-5. You probably heard the first line, as many non-Christians use it when we point out their sins, but they ignore the rest which is the most important of it. The whole portion reads “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” To be clear, Christians are to judge, and we’re told we will judge the world and angels in the end (1 Corinthians 6:2-3), but we must practice righteous judgement (John 7:24). If there is an actual issue, such as someone hitting the other’s car in the church parking lot, or someone claiming a member stole their necklace, we don’t brush it aside and ignore it. We handle it like we would in court so the issue can be settled, and we’re even told to handle matters amongst ourselves instead of bringing them to the ‘unjust’ via worldly courts (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). But when it comes to how people live their lives, while we can advise out of love and concern, what matters first and foremost is that we look at ourselves and fix ourselves before we ever feel like we have the right or authority to tell others how to fix theirs. 

People often view Christians as hypocrites, and honestly, for the most part, we are right! We judge the rest of the world for the music they listen to, how they dress, for the activities they enjoy, for fornicating, for being gay and such…..but if you were to compare the average Christian to the bible which we claim to believe, love, and obey, they probably see countless ways in which we fall short. Maybe we lie, or gossip, or slander. Maybe we’re envious and jealous, and unsatisfied with what we have. Maybe we’re quite mean and selfish, never volunteering or helping others in need. Maybe we have our own idols, worshipping celebrities and Kpop stars. It is said that the Christian divorce rate is just as high as the rest of the world, even though we should have a higher regard for marriage and faithfulness. Some of us are workaholics, or occupied with sports games, so we don’t make time for church or the God in whom we claim to serve. Perhaps our words are sour and hurtful, and not a fountain of life as they should be. When the people around us need love and comforting, we brush them aside with a verse and tell them to handle it themselves cause we’re busy or tired. Maybe we claim to be Christian, but don’t really fear God nor believe in His word, and we may even be practicing pagan rituals and witchcraft. Maybe we praise God with our lips, but our hearts are far from Him….. Let us pray fervently and ask God directly the many ways we fall short. Let us pray that He removes our pride and humble us so we could better obey His laws and reflect Him to the world. 

12. God Instructs Us To Live A Quiet Life
Thanks to social media, everyone is seeking a platform and wants their opinions to be heard. Everyone wants followers and likes because they want attention, and it may also become a good source of income. But compared to a decade ago where people at least made original, funny, or valuable content, most people are just copying trends, or reacting/reposting other people’s videos, or just sharing the most basic information while acting like it’s new or surprising. You don’t have to be smart, talented, or creative to get a following, you just have to appease the algorithm by posting regularly and using trending music. But let’s consider a couple verses, shall we? 1 Thessalonians 4:10b-12 says “but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more; And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.” And 1 Timothy 2:1-4 says “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” I remember talking to a church friend who looked up to street preachers and desired to be as bold as them, but I was turned off from those videos due to their loudness and pride, and more so knowing they like arguments and putting down people as that’s more likely to get views and shares, and in turn, more revenue….but this really isn’t the way of Christ. 

For me personally, I had this blog and Instagram before I was saved. I was initially inspired to write to fill a hole in Japanese music resources, and my Instagram simply follows my journey from beginner to the stage. I never followed the trends nor cared to post daily just to be popular. But after I was saved, while it was certainly tempting to start creating Christian content, the most I did was updated my profiles to reflect that I am Christian, sharing my testimony so people will know I’m not really covering anime music anymore, and a couple articles that fit my niche such as making a list of Japanese Christian Artists and some articles on whether Anime is safe for Christians, but for the most part, I really don’t post much compared to before. Besides a couple posts sharing what I’m up to, I didn’t care to exploit my churches just to create content. Worship is a private thing and I don’t want to feel extra self conscious cause I’m also recording myself. I also don’t feel I have much else to add. There is no private interpretation of the bible, so even if I felt I learned something on my own, chances are, someone has already written or made a video about it, and I don’t need to go on to make my own content about it. I’m thankful for the many teachers and passionate Christians who do share their little nuggets and insight as I have learned a lot, but like my blog, I don’t feel a need to say what’s already been said. And the closer I got to God, the less I cared about posting or being seen by people in general. I’m thankful that I got to transform in my own little private cocoon instead of having all my mistakes and bad theology and this and that on display for the world to see, judge, and criticize.

I feel sympathy for creators who converted and instantly started making Christian content, because it’s brutal out there. People expect you to be an authority figure and an example even though you’re a baby in the faith, and everyone is trying to correct or challenge your theology and judge you because you’re still doing things you used to do, and there’s just not much space to grow or admit mistakes without everyone attacking you. No matter what you share, someone, whether it’s your old fans or pharisees, are going to leave negative comments. And on the other side, some babes with a platform become very prideful and cocky thinking that all these other teachers are wrong and they end up getting into fights with them, and they end up making videos telling everyone to avoid you….and after a few more months or years, many of them end up leaving the faith anyways. That’s why 1 Timothy 3:6 warns “Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.” The wilderness season is important, and I talk about that more in a later point. The world may praise and look up to the loudest people with the biggest platforms, but there is peace and comfort that comes from being quieter and only speaking to people you encounter in your real life.

13. God Also Tells Us To MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS
If only more people knew this was a command in the bible, the Christian community would be so different! How many of us grew up in churches where people were always looking at the visitors or guests and secretly talking to one another about them. Maybe some will inquire about your life, just to gossip to others about you. As much as people may want to make prayer requests or confess, it’s often too scary to because we know people will pass it on and judge us for it. People have learned to be private because they know others don’t really care, they aren’t interested in helping, but it makes them feel better when they hear others are struggling or facing sins that they don’t. But you know, the bible has a whole lot to say about ‘gossipers’, ‘slanderers’ and ‘busybodies’. For example, Proverbs 20:19 “He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.”, James 4:11 ” Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.”, Proverbs 16:28 ” A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” and Leviticus 19:16 “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the Lord.”. 

Now, in my own life, I was never that kind of person to spread rumors and gossip as I only care for the truth. I may ask the individual of the story directly and then keep it to myself. Or if I have to reference something as an example or to advise another, I would keep names out of it. I will admit to complaining and ranting about people, and I have learned that even if my story is 100% true, it is still considered gossip and slandering since it is behind their back and they don’t have the opportunity to share their side and defend themselves, which in turn causes division or people treating them differently, and that is still a sin, so I have been working on it. Biblically, if we have an issue with someone, we either have grace and let it go, or we take it up with that person directly first.

But continuing on, my main issue when it comes to minding my own business was that I would be so involved in people’s lives and feel anxious when I don’t know what’s going on with them. Now, this really wasn’t done with malicious intent, but due to my anxious attachment, I felt like I needed to know so I could help them, be there for them, and make them happy. The more I knew, the better friend I could be. I think part of this eagerness started when I was in high school and we’d hear or watch videos about people who committed suicide, and their friends and family would always say ‘they had no idea they were suicidal’, and I was stunned. If I was really close to someone, I would pay enough attention to tell when they were acting or talking differently (even over text), and I would keep asking until they tell me what’s wrong….but before it would even get that far, I would try to make them happy, check in on them, give them gifts, help them out if they’re struggling etc….But as we continued to grow up, and friends got caught up with boyfriends or jobs or streaming/influencing or whatever, they didn’t make much time to respond to me, and I didn’t feel like they cared much about me or our friendship, even though they were always on my mind.  Regardless, as I quoted in the last point, the bible says to mind my own business. Peter also got a rebuke when he inquired what John’s future would hold and Jesus said ‘what’s it to you?’. At the end of the day, while I thought I was being loving and caring, I was actually trying to play God in their lives, hoping that I could be their hero and that they’d be more attached to me, but they really need to learn to deal with their own problems, face their own consequences, and seek God in times of need. It is freeing when you stop trying to save people and control situations all the time, that’s for sure! 

14. People Pleasing Isn’t Biblical. In Fact, It’s Breaking The First Commandment
As mentioned above, people pleasing was a big part of my life. I thought it was just because I loved and cared about them and wanted them to be happy, but the root of it was an anxious attachment and the fear of being abandonned. My father abandoned me, my brother abused me, and my mom was only happy with me if I did what she wanted when she wanted, so I grew up never believing that people enjoyed my presence, or that my thoughts and feelings mattered. I was only wanted if I was useful, and I fought to make sure people felt I brought value to their lives. I will say, watching some Carl Jung videos will change you, that’s for sure. It was important for me to realize that people really don’t care about me, and that people pleasing is actually manipulative because I’m trying to control how others see me. That one really hit hard because I was convinced I was doing these things out of pure intentions, but now I had to second guess my whole life and see just how far my trauma went. Now, Carl Jung would suggest you to just accept and embrace the oppressed shadow self, but I took a more biblical approach with it. The depression, bitterness, anger, and neglect I locked deep down inside, I brought it to God for healing. I’m still in the progress, I’m not fully healed yet, but just understanding why certain thoughts and feelings would come up has really opened my eyes to who I really am underneath who I thought I was all this time. 

Now, for the most part, people pleasing will get you pretty far in life, no doubt about it! But when it comes to our Christian walk, it is a greater barrier than anything. The very first commandment is “Thou shalt have no other gods before me”. Around the time I was saved, I thought I kept that commandment because I didn’t ever mess with other religions or witchcraft or anything like that, I didn’t bow down to any idols or pray to any other gods…..but when I thought about what was on the throne of my heart, it was other people. They were who I wanted to talk to, who I worked hard to please, who I wanted to connect with the most. And even if I didn’t worship artists or kpop idols like other people did, I still praised them and talked about them more than my own God…thus, I knew this was something I had to change, but I still struggled so hard. For some reason, even though they would take days, weeks, even months to reply to me, the minute they did, I rushed to respond. Even when I was about to kneel down to pray, I would choose to talk to them instead because I didn’t know how long they’d be on, or when I’d hear from them again. I was so lonely, so I was sopping up the few breadcrumbs people would throw at me…and yet, God is right here all the time, watching me, and eager to talk to me. It’s true that we don’t appreciate what we see as available or easy. My friends didn’t appreciate me, and I didn’t appreciate God, but God deserved it. I knew that mentally, but still had to go through a lot of inner work to realize why I was people pleasing or so attached to people in the first place (as mentioned in above point).

As much as I truly did love God and wanted to be fully dedicated to Him, I still had a deep fear of people leaving me…but what have they ever really done for me? I enjoyed their presence and conversation, but clearly, I wasn’t a priority nor brought much joy to them if they could go weeks without looking at my message. My ego which saw myself as a good and faithful friend who replied fast and was always there for people, what good does it if I don’t even get somewhat of the same treatment in return? I could be sending them a message from my death bed, and they wouldn’t know til I passed away. It’s true that people will show you what you mean to them. We all have our phones in our hands and we make time for what matters, so I had to accept where I stood and learn to enjoy my own company and God’s more. At the end of the day, I do desire to be obedient to God’s word in every way possible, and if people pleasing is a sin, then it must be broken. I do desire to have real 2-way conversations with God, but I know I have to be quiet and still enough for Him to do so, and that could only happen if I wasn’t so mentally occupied with pleasing my family, friends, bosses, and whoever else that may request my attention. The world will be fine without me. I’ll end this point off with a couple more verses: Galatians 1:10 ” For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” and Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” 

15. Boundaries are Biblical and are Quite Necessary For Peace
Above, I talked about learning to mind my own business and not care so much about other people, and also not trying to please them so much, but what about how other people treat me or what they inquire of me? Anxiously attached people or kids who faced complex trauma like myself usually don’t have boundaries. We are an open book, and we respond to everything and do anything as we figure that would make people happiest with us. We were told growing up that being open and honest makes you a good and trustworthy person, so we aren’t shy to divulge a lot of personal and intimate information. Additionally, our ‘no’s were never respected, so even if we didn’t want to do something, we were forced to do it. Privacy wasn’t really a thing either. Thus, as we continue to grow, the thought of boundaries is completely foreign to us. When others have boundaries, we take it as rejection because why wouldn’t someone else be open if we are open? It can be really awkward and embarrassing if we just shared our whole lives trauma dumping on someone, and they don’t want to answer a single questions bout themselves….but that’s on us. 

As much as we may think love means giving every bit of ourselves to someone without hiding or holding anything back, Jesus shows us something different. Jesus gave more than we could ever imagine, and there were times He was tired but continued to work as He was moved with compassion, but even so, He only did what He and the Father wanted to do. There were many times people wanted Him to stay in a city so he could continue to heal or help others, but He went on to the next city anyways. There were times His family came looking for Him and He appeared to have brushed them aside. As busy as you would assume He was, we know He still slept well, and would go out alone early in the morning to be alone with His Father. And there were times He had Him and His disciples go off into a mountain to be alone. After His resurrection, while His disciples wanted Him to stay, He had to go so the Holy Spirit could come down and be with us. And speaking of disciples, while tens of thousands of people would listen or follow Him, He only chose 12 to stay by His side, and He would regularly take His 3 closest friends to witness or know something the rest of them wouldn’t. You would think if anyone was to be an open book, it would be God who created all of us, right? And while the Bible is accessible to everyone, God can blind people from seeing and knowing the truth (John 12:38-40). Many people pray, even unbelievers, but God says “no” to a lot of them. When people challenge and test God, He doesn’t come crawling to them beginning them to believe or trust Him, He allows them to walk away. While God desires love from His creation, He’s not going to beg for it, nor will He allow people to use Him like a doormat to try to earn it. He gives us so many good things, including His own son on the cross, and if that’s not enough to win us over, so be it. 

As many of us have said and noticed, hell really is a choice. God gave us a free ticket to heaven, but if people really don’t want to spend eternity with Him, then He’ll let them go to a place without Him, a place where none of His goodness or gifts is visible. For some reason, everyone seems to think everyone goes to heaven, but heaven is God’s home. God can only dwell among holiness and purity, and it’s part of why He can’t dwell on earth as much as He wants to….but for those who accepted His invitation, God has been given permission to sanctify and purify us into holy beings that are good enough to be in heaven with Him. For others, if they reject God and don’t want to be changed, why would God allow them to ruin His beautiful, peaceful home? Not only is that unjust since their sins are not paid for, but that would ruin the experience for everyone else there as well. As loving and kind as God is, He has boundaries, and that is one of them. So let’s learn from our heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus Christ. 

16. The Tongue Truly Is An Unruly Poison, and We Need To Train It Seriously
Almost all of my above points can be reflect in the verse James 3:8 “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” The following two verses also make a valid point “Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”As I said in my testimony, I was outwardly obedient for the most part, I could easily pass as Christian with my kindness, helpfulness, morals and such….but my tongue, let me tell you. Even if it was my digital tongue via texting, it still counts. I talked A LOT. And while a lot of it was good, useful, insightful, and even holy information, based on the bible, if there’s one thing I felt very deeply in my soul, it’s that I need to shut up. Proverbs has been especially convicting, such as Proverbs 29:11 “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” and Proverbs 10:19 “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”

I’ve wasted so much time and energy casting my pearls towards swine when I could have spent that time being intimate with my heavenly Father. I used to get so riled up arguing with people when they had no interest in changing their mind in the first place. And knowing that demons can be working through people to make me act in the flesh made me realize how foolish I was for taking the bait. If I was complaining, I’m representing my faith badly because I’m not satisfied with all the blessings and the eternal life I’ve been given. When we rant to our loved ones, we’re spreading such negativity, and chances are, we’re also gossiping or slandering another person when we should have more mercy and grace towards them, and handle our problems one on one before including other people (Matthew 5:23–24). And worst of all, knowing about the spiritual world, any personal information shared outloud or with the wrong people can be used by demons and witches against us. If you boast about getting married or having a baby or getting a big promotion to someone who secretly despises you, they may put a curse or spell on you which could cause you to lose those things before it even happens. 

People often quote the verse that ‘life and death are in the power of the tongue’ (Proverbs 18:21) and it truly is. Have you ever meditated on the fact that Jesus is the WORD of God (John 1:1-14), and the bible is also the WORD of God. God communicates with us mainly through words because it can go past the spiritual and into our physical ears and brains. Music is simply words that are sung, and that’s why it also has so much power over us. Another thing to consider is just how much God hates lying and false witnesses, and yet, us humans consider it one of the smallest sins. If you look at the verses that talk about the 7 things God hates from Proverbs 6:16-19 “16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” you’ll notice half of them have to do with words directly (lying, discord), and the other half could likely be expressed or planned out through words (pride, wicked imaginations, running into mischief). As much I thought being open and honest was the priority, it’s clear that ‘there is a time to speak and a time to keep silence’ (Ecclesiastes 3:7), that ‘no corrupt communication proceeds out of our mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying’ (Ephesians 4:29), and that our ‘speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that we may know how to answer every man’ (Colossians 4:6), 

17. There Are No Private Interpretations…
It’s quite funny how many denominations are based on a private interpretation from their leaders or founders, some of the biggest being SDA, Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses. The bible warns us that ‘if anyone, even an angel, speaks any other gospel than this one, they are to be accursed’ (Galatians 1:8-9), and yet, people go on believing them. Now, false churches are quite easy to spot if you actually read the bible or watched the countless videos exposing them, but there has arised a new group of people who also claim to have unique or special revelations from God, and those are content creators and influencers. Anyone could become big online by saying ‘God told me…’ and just sharing the most basic information that could apply to a huge portion of the population. Other people can set dates of Jesus’s return to get people to check in, and when the date passes, they make some excuse and carry on with another date. Now, we shouldn’t be at all surprised about this. The bible says many false prophets will arise in the last day, and it also tells us people will be attracted to them because they have itching ears ( ) and don’t have the love of the truth (). But you know what else I noticed? A lot of these ideas and methods are very common in cults and the occult. Part of their biggest appeal is making members feel like they are a part of some special club. Maybe only they will go to heaven, or that only they are smart enough to understand and believe. These organizations also common have fear somewhere, such as those who leave would be ex-communicated, killed, or doomed to hell, thus making them extra hard to leave. I’ve even heard of businesses or individuals hosting ‘spiritual retreats’ where they could meet god or have some spiritual awakening, but they often cost thousands and thousands of dollars, and thus only the rich and priviledged could attend.

But here’s the thing, our God doesn’t gatekeep, nor does He hide certain information behind certain people or paywalls. Anything someone else could know and understand from the bible, you can too! Even if someone doesn’t have access to a bible, God can give them revelation directly, or send a missionary to them to teach them, for free! Thus, any person or denomination who claims to have the only true revelation, or some external book from God is clearly lying. Anything that is actually true from the bible, such as the trinity and Jesus dying on the cross to atone for our sins, should be foundational to any true church. Of course, there are some grey matters in which there are verses to support it, but it may also not be super obvious, or some aren’t sure if it still applies, such as food laws, but we’re told not to worry so much or judge about those things as they don’t really have anything to do with our holiness or our relationship with God. Our heart matters way more than what we eat or what day we rest on. At times, it can be frustrating when you see soooooo much evidence for something and yet most Christians seem to not believe it, (and I could go on a whole rant about the rapture for example…I’ve made a 50+ page document full of verses to defend it if you care to hear), but because so many churches believe in replacement theology or still believe works matters to an extent or just because their leader said otherwise, they have pushed certain teachings out and there’s no discussion about it. But for the Christian who sees clearly, it can be heartbreaking as certain theologies can really put God in a bad light, or it even spits on the cross since we still have to work to be saved or prove ourselves. Just something to think about. 

18. We Are A New Creature In Christ, So We Can Let Go Of Personas, Possessions, People And The Past
For some reason, people view religion as something that you just kinda sprinkle over your life. You can be exactly who you were, but religion identifies your views on ‘god’ and the afterlife, or how you view good/bad and the meaning of life. It’s mostly in your head, but you may also visit or attend a place of worship now and then, and/or confide in a spiritual leader about your future or problems. More recently, I watched Sister Act for an article, and at the beginning, we are introduced to the mob boss who was having an affair with the main character, and while he kept saying he would leave his wife for her, he went to confession and the priest told him he shouldn’t or he would go to hell. Mind you, this same guy orders the death of a guy not long after that, and then chases after the main character to kill her too since she was a witness, thus why she had to hid in a convent as a Sister. And btw, she grew up in catholic school but was a troublesome kid, and it was implied that she really had no interest for a holy life since she was a lounge singer sleeping around…but I guess it’s fine the lead the choir if it means more people would come. It was a cute movie, I’m not hating on the characters, and I think the love of the sisters for the main character clearly had a positive effect on the main character, but the fact that this is a secular movie and many people around the world love it (even Japan which only has about 2% Christian population now and was probably much smaller at it’s release), shows that we don’t mind sprinkling a little faith and religion and spiritual ideas around if it’s chill or entertaining. But God calls us to a more serious dedication and a radical transformation.

We’re told not only to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37), but we’re told to be living sacrifices for Him (Romans 12:1), to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), and to be Holy as our God is Holy (1 Peter 1:16). We’re told to pray at all times without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and ask for our daily spiritual bread (Matthew 6:11). We’re told to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus (Matthew 9:23, Luke 9:23, Mark 8:34). And we’re told that if we love the world, the love of the Father isn’t in us (1 John 2:15). All that to say, you gotta be all in for this walk. And usually to go all in, you have to let go of pretty much everything. Luke 14:26 says “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” 1 John 2:15 says “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” And while that certainly seems like a big sacrifice, we gain so much more in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 1 Peter 2:9 says ” But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;” and Mark 10:29-30 says “And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.”

I won’t be the first to admit that the pruning season is not fun at all. Usually, it starts with things we choose to give up, like our prized possessions and perhaps even some friends who weren’t good for you anyways. You may stop listening or watching secular things that clearly promote ungodly things, and may even step away from worldly commitments to make more time for God and church. But let me tell you, once you ask God to remove whatever He chooses and to make you more like Him, He really doesn’t hold back. He may ask you to forgive the person who has hurt you most so He could truly start to heal you and the bitterness you have buried deep down. He may cause you to lose your job so He can make you more reliant on Him. He may cause your closest friends to start ghosting you so you have more time to spend with Him. He may start exposing your secret sins and wicked desires to humble you and soften your heart. He may allow you to face the consequences of your more repeatitive sins so you can see why His commands are better for you. He may give you more wisdom and understanding so you could truly transform your thinking and become more like Him. Often, through Him refining you in the fire, what once seemed impossible or scary to do, now doesn’t seem so bad.

For me, my journals was one of my prized possessions as it not only had half my life of memories, but I realized, I needed them for validation, for evidence, to defend my identity…but those books was full of complaints, traumatic stories, and boasting. As much as I wanted to move on, if I were to read certain pages again, it would bring back certain emotions. So while there were some good stories and such in there, after 3.5 years of being saved, I was finally able to rip up every page, and man, do I feel free! Not only free mentally, but it has freed up space in my room, along with weight for when I move again. At the end of the day, I don’t want to think about the old me anymore. I used to be proud of her, and I still am at her resiliance, hopeful thinking and hard work, but otherwise, she was very foolish and quite embarrassing. With God, I was able to look back and get to the core of the issue within myself, but now I’m ready to move on and be a whole new person. Someone who is not defined or ruled by my trauma and fears, but one who is walking in confidence as a princess and priest to the King of the universe. I’ve decluttered so much over the 3 years that I’m pretty much a minimalist now, and I’m happy about that as it means if God ever asked me to go somewhere else, I don’t have any assets or anything like a lease to keep me here. And while that also means trusting Him more for my needs, I prefer it that way. After all, I don’t think we’ll be here long, and God told us to not worry about tomorrow, so I really am just taking it one day at a time. The old me used to dream so much that I created this blog called ‘Chromatic Dreamers’, but now, I’m just living in the present and trying to make the most of it <3 

19. The Wilderness Season And Rest Is Necessary, But Sadly Neglected By Most Christians
A lot of people get saved and instantly jump into ministry. And hey, I totally get it! When you’re truly touched by the gospel, you just want to share with everyone and live for Him. Churches are also eager for volunteers as they could always use more hands, so it’s easy to get a position serving too! …But this path is quite dangerous to the individual and those who may later be under their leadership or teaching. 1 Timothy 3:6-7 says “Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” And yet, how many new believers have turned their platform into a Christian channel and started teaching right away? Churches also don’t seem to mind letting anyone talented on their stage without even doing a background check or testing if they are really saved. This ought not so to be, but sadly people, even inside the church, are always pushing people to get to work right away and keep pushing til you die!

Biblically though, whenever God was about to call someone to later do big things for Him, He either isolated them in some way, allowed them time of preparation, or they were mentored and trained by someone who was truly walking in God’s footsteps before the mantle was passed onto them. For example, Abraham was told to leave his family and wondered for many years. Joshua was not only sold into slavery, but was in jail for quite some time before becoming 2nd only to Pharoah. Moses spent 40 years in the wild before coming back to deliver the Israelites from Egypt, and Joshua was mentored by Moses for over 40 years before taking over. Elijah spent 3.5 years in the wild during the drought, and spent another 40 days hiding alone after the showdown, and Elisha got to be mentored by Elijah before filling in as the next big prophet. David was on his own tending sheep and fighting wild beasts before he ever fought Goliath, and he was on the run for many years before becoming king. We know Jesus was already learning from Jewish leaders since he was 12, and even He still spent 40 days in the wilderness before starting His ministry. Paul as well, once he received his eyesight back, spent 3 years in Arabia before meeting the apostles and starting his ministry, writing the letters we all know and love. 

God is not in a rush. We live in an impatient world, but we need to learn to make time for God, not just His work, but for HIM. Just cause the devil never sleeps doesn’t mean we have to work at his pace. We may be eager to share our wisdom online and go out to evangelize or build churches to pastor over or make Christian music or whatever it may be…but we must not neglect the wilderness season. It’s through isolation where God can strip us of all the lies we cling to, all the identities we’ve built for ourselves, and expose us of all our insecurities and sins so He can make us who He needs us to be, someone who doesn’t care about human approval, and who will trust in Him even when they can’t see what the future may hold. So if you’re a babe in Christ, or you suddenly have an idea for ministry, don’t rush it. Ensure you pray about it and really consult with God if this is what He really wants you to do. Jumping in too soon may have you taking the wrong path or even getting burnt out. Don’t let others push or manipulate you either. Any church can say ‘you have this gift, serve with us’, but perhaps God is calling you to something outside of churches. He may want you in another country, or to attend the sick or the homeless, or simply to minister to your family at home. I get that a big platform and having many people come out to hear you can be tempting if we’re acting in the flesh, but it is a big responsibility. Leaders and teachers will be judged more harshly (James 3:1), so we shouldn’t be eager if we have yet to grow in the faith or be mentored by elders. 

Additionally, rest is so important. God established the Sabbath so we can rest, slow down, and learn to trust in God for our needs. Not only did Israel they rest every 7th day, but ever 7th year, and they would have a double year break every Jubillee, so they really had to trust God to provide enough food to last those years and for a good harvest in the future. While I don’t believe the sabbath is binding today, I do wish more people would adopt it because it’s nice having a full day with no responsibilities to focus on God and catch up on sleep. I get it though. When I was quite the hustler, I found myself cutting Sabbath short because I was so eager to build my business or finish an article, but now that I’m saved and I got my priorities in place, I love the Sabbath more than I ever did as a kid, especially cause I’m no longer under the burden of the law and can choose to keep it to draw closer to my God. Also, If you’re a people pleaser like I was, rest is even more important. You may have grown up not feeling like you could take a break cause something always needs to be done, or people are always asking if you could do something for them. But the Mary and Martha story in the bible totally changed my mindset in that regard. Jesus came over and Martha occupied herself attending to the guests, but then she saw her sister Mary chilling while listening to Jesus, and she complained to Jesus about it. But you know what Jesus did? He commanded Mary and said Martha was worried about too many things (Luke 10:38-42).

If Jesus gives Mary permission to sit and rest at His feet, then we too shouldn’t stress out doing all these things that aren’t really that important, or at least doesn’t have to be done today or tomorrow like cleaning. Even if it is for the good of other people, if it is distracting us from our quiet and intimate time with the Lord, changes need to be made. If you work too much and never give yourself time to rest and relax, not only will you burn out and possibly face health issues, but chances are, you’re going to build up resentment and bitterness against people who aren’t stepping in much, like your husband, kids, or coworkers. Like Martha, you’re going to be busy helping and serving, while others just get to lounge around and spend time socializing, and you’re probably going to look and judge those who aren’t doing much, but you’re free to sit around too! No one told Martha to do those things. She started up on her own, and then got angry at her sister for not helping. I didn’t want to be like Martha anymore, so I’ve learned to sit down and relax. God loves you for YOU! Not for what you do for Him. So if you’re doing those things because of your own ego or a desire to feel needed, it’s time to find your new identity in Christ and rest. His burden is easy and light. 

20. This world really is Vanity of Vanities. The Only Thing That Matters Is God and Souls.

I don’t know how many of you have read Ecclessiastes, but before I did, I was already coming to a similar conclusion as the writer was. If God made us for Himself, and if everything here will pass away one day, including our own bodies, our works, our achievements and such……does anything really matter? We do what we gotta do to survive but like otherwise…….? Some people work so hard for retirement, just to die before they retire. Some people work so hard building a company that may not even be successful. Some people finally get the house, car, clothes and possessions they desire just to have it all wiped away in a hurricane. We have all these dreams and desires that we think will make us happy, but usually, the joy is temporary and fleeting. The only thing that really matters at the end of the day are eternal things. Our relationship with God is of the utmost importance because He really is the only one we know will be with us forever. Other people may be in our life for now, but we don’t know if they’ll be faithful until one of us dies. Chances are, they are just here for a season. But even so, at least people have souls so there is a chance you will encounter them again in the next life.

But honestly, isn’t it so sad how many people prioritize fame, money, status, entertainment and temporary pleasures their families and friends, church and the kingdom to come, and of course, God? How often do we neglect our loved ones because we are too busy with work, or we’re scrolling on our phones when they’re right beside us? A lot of people have no problem using others to level up and then abandoning them once they are no longer needed. Humanity really has become so cold, heartless and selfish as the bible predicted (2 Timothy 3:2). At least way back, people really relied on their tribes and communities to live, and thus cared more about their neighbours, but we have the ability to live independently without seeing or talking to people…..and then we wonder why there is such a loneliness epidemic. I remember hearing a few preachers bring up the fact that, when you stand before God, He’s not going to care about how hard you worked or how much money you made, He’s going to ask how well you loved your brethren and the image bearers around you. What you do for the least of them, you do to and for Jesus (Matthew 25:40), so if you really don’t care about people, you’re living the most vain of lifestyles. Instead of focusing on what the world tells us we need to be happy and successful, and pursuing possessions that won’t last long, let’s set our heart on things above and the life to come. Still work hard and be a faithful servant in this life, but don’t let money, possessions, and status rule your heart and mind. Those things are fickle and you’ll never find lasting security or joy in them.

In Conclusion…
I was 28 when I was first truly born again and given the power and wisdom to understand God and the bible like never before. But even now at 32, God is still pruning me and teaching me more of His ways. The bible truly does transform you if you allow it to renew your mind. If you’re confused or uncertain about a concept that seems very clear in the bible, don’t just ignore it, nor allow your heart to grow doubt due to it, wrestle with God over it. Ask questions, do more research, consult with other people, but if there is more biblical evidence to support your opposing side, learn to accept it. Once you open up your heart to it, God will give you the wisdom for it to make sense to you. And from there, as you continue to learn and humble yourself to His ways which are above our own, He can give you more insight into other deeper and complex topics, and even reveal other secrets to you (Daniel 2:28, Amos 3:7).

If you have any biblical questions, feel free to reach out to me! I still don’t claim to be a master of the bible or a mature Christian in any way, but you never know what you can learn from a brother or sister in Christ. If we’re humble, anyone can teach us, and you’d be surprised at what even children know and see if you allow them to speak. But for now, I’m about to embrace my wilderness season and truly be alone with God. I clearly still have a lot of issues and still need time to fully embrace and be transformed by the revelations I had above. I don’t know where God will call me to afterwards, but I’ve consecrated my life to Him and willing to go wherever He wants me to go. I don’t have any dreams or plans for the future, so I’m fine with whatever path He may lead me. My only desire is to get closer to my heavenly Father, and be a good ambassador for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Sincerely, Nostalgia <3