When it comes to chasing and achieving your dreams, showing yourself love is so vital. You need to let your mind, body and soul know that you care for it, and that it matters. Only then will it return the favor and do what you need or want it to do for you.
What do I mean by this? Well let’s say you’re the self destructive type. You stay up late binging shows and don’t get enough sleep, or you always eat the worst kinds of food…or maybe you don’t eat at all. When you later need your body to be present or active for you, it’s not going to be able to.
Or let’s say you’re someone who loves to put yourself down. You constantly tell yourself your ugly and that you don’t deserve love nor are you good enough to achieve anything. But there’s this competition that you wanted to win since you were a young child. Do you really think your mind and soul is going to do their best after all the negativity you’ve been feeding it?
If only we really took the time to realize how much our thoughts, our mindset, and our actions effects ourselves and the future.
Now, this post is about self love, so I’m not going to go in depth or help you change your mindset and learn to love yourself in this post, but I am going to give you some physical things you can do for yourself so you can start showing yourself that you are worth it and that you deserve love.
So let’s get to it!
Sleep More
If you’re a young adult who is somehow getting more than 7 hours of sleep a night, I applaud you. I don’t even get that much and I’ve been working from home for 3 years now. I’m somewhat nocturnal, and 1-4pm is prime time for my mind, and then I’m usually woken up by building noise or my phone going off before I’m ready, but regardless, if I’m feeling tired, I will take a nap.
Life can be tiring sometimes. There’s a lot of pressure, a lot of financial struggles, a lot of negativity in the world and many are dealing with depression. And while you should definitely work hard, be productive, and try to get ahead, you need to sleep. Your body needs to rest. It’s not going to work it’s best when it’s tired and lacking energy. A lot of things can wait. Get some shut eye.
Massage Yourself
While professional massages are definitely lovely, and you should definitely get one if you have some spare change (I meant that wholeheartedly), when’s the last time you’ve spent a moment massaging yourself?
Starting in University and a few years after, I was dealing with some random but very sharp knee pain. It was only knee, and when it started up, it would not stop for a few days. Made it really hard to sleep and I felt like it could buckle when I’d walk. I would massage it then, but it’s amazing how we only care about a part of us when it starts to cry in pain.
It’s time we started showing ourselves more love. Massage your hands and the bottom of your feet. Give yourself a neck massage. Maybe your massage your tummy if you deal with constipation often. Don’t just work out and stretch, but actually massage your arms and limbs.
Start Journalling
If you have never journaled, I wholeheartedly recommend it. I’ve been journalling since the start of Grade 11. I was given one as a gift in middle school but didn’t touch it since. How I wished I started sooner cause Grade 9 and 10 was certainly my most memorable years of school.
Anyways, I find that journaling is the one opportunity you have to really let everything out in a safe place. It’s like a true friend whom you could share both your biggest moments, and the smallest events that most people wouldn’t care to hear about. Maybe you got something for free today or you went out of your way to help someone, and you’re feeling really good. You can put it there.
Whatever is troubling you, whatever your future goals are, whenever you just need to rant about something meant that your friend did but you don’t want to cause any real drama, you can put it all in there.
Journaling allows you to reflect on your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, your actions, and it can certainly help you so much when it comes to personal growth. It’s also always there for you to refer to if you forgot something or just to see how far you’ve come. I highly HIGHLY recommend it.
Meditate
I feel the world is often divided on meditation. Some love it, some find it stupid, especially when they visualize someone sitting cross legged saying ‘Ummmmm’ all day. However, meditation is what you make it. You can meditate anytime anywhere. All that matters is that you are doing your best to silence your mind and enjoy inner peace for a moment.
Silencing your mind can be impossible if there’s just so much going on, so that’s why I put journaling first. It’s similar to having a thousand things to do, but once you put it down on a list, you don’t have to keep juggling those things in your brain.
The first time I tried meditating was in high school. Our teacher showed us X-Men and I become obsessed with trying to learn telekinesis (moving things with your mind) or having ice powers, and after doing a lot of research, they all said you need to control your mind first and meditation was the first step. I am not joking at all. It did take a few attempts to get there, and I think I kinda moved a psywheel, iunno, belief is certainly a huge aspect and clearly, that belief has gotten me a lot of places. I do think the mind and our mindset is a powerful thing, but ANYWAYS..
Once you can learn to control your mind, once you can quiet it down and really be aware of your thoughts, you can start changing things around. You can start thinking things through and not just letting the outside world or your emotions control you. Become somewhat of a stoic.
Get Rid Of Toxicity
This step differs from person to person. Sometimes, it’s just not possible to do that because your biggest source of toxicity is your parents and you’re still underage. But in a lot of other cases, we have the power to remove these negativity things from our lives, but we are either ignorant of it or choose to hold on to it.
For a lot of people, that toxicity may be a so called friend. The girl you knew for over 10 years and sure, she invites you out, you guys have fun together, she listens to you….but she also has a tendency to ditch or ghost you, or make you the laughing stock of the group, and she’ll listen but then she berates you.
It could be a boss or supervisor that always talks down to you or gives you their work to do for no extra pay. It could be an ex your still in touch with who you stay with as you feel bad for ending it but they don’t miss the opportunity to attack you and make you feel even more guilty.
Sometimes, it’s not even a person. It could be an object that just gives you bad vibes or makes you feel anxious. It could be a monthly event that you feel compelled to go to but you always feel like garbage when you leave. Maybe you’re very soft hearted and watching the daily news brings down your mood by many notches.
These small (or big) changes can do wonders for your life. Don’t neglect yourself and your feelings. If something always makes you feel bad or nervous or anxious or scared, it’s best to cut it off.
Saying “No”
This is for you people pleasers and caring people out there. I was once one of yall, and although I still care and try, I will say “no” without an excuse if I want to.
In this world, they often say that there are givers and takers. Takers will take all they can and not give anything. It’s so easy for them to take advantage of givers because they never say no. They will keep pushing and asking for more, and it gets to that point where they even expect it. But when you need a favour, when you need help, they aren’t there for you. What’s worse is that the givers rarely ever ask for anything, so they may not even have this realization.
But listen, you only got one life to live. You are the main character of your own life. Stop playing a side character always supporting other people yet being forgotten about when they move on to better things.
Cause you know what? Later, after you’ve given up so much time, so much money, so much energy and effort into them, they won’t let you blame them or use them as an excuse for why you haven’t done more in your life.
“Oh? You didn’t go back to school because you spent everyday babysitting my daughter? You didn’t tell me anything, I could have hired someone. That’s on you.” “If you just needed that $500 back, you could have asked for it. I didn’t know you needed it to start up a blog. Here! Take it!” “You didn’t have to say yes, I thought you were enjoying this. You should have said something.”
Even if you felt like you had no choice or that you were their last hope, you’ll see how quickly they find another person or solution when you do say “no”. You’re burning yourself out for no real reason.
It’s a truly lovely and wonderful thing to be a caring person, and there’s nothing wrong with helping a friend who is down on their luck or volunteering your time now and then, but if you don’t want to, if you’re not in the place to, if it’s taking up all your free time, or if it feels like they are coming to you just because they know you would say “yes”, it’s time to draw the line and make some boundaries. If you don’t value your own time and feelings first, they definitely won’t.
Treat Yourself
Growing up poor, I was always cautious of how I spent my little money and I became a serious saver when I started working. I only bought what I needed, nothing else. But eventually, I got to that point where it’s like “I’m working full-time, I’m making all this money, but like, what am I saving for?” There was so much I wanted to do, so much I wanted to enjoy, so many things on my bucket list, and I was procrastinating on them.
I started going out and doing more, and of course getting bubble teas whenever I wanted, because I deserve it. If you work, I believe you should be able to treat yourself, as long as your financial responsibilies are paid for.
Hear me out. I get that many people are aiming for that big house or perhaps saving for retirement, but it’s good to ask yourself a few questions. 1. Do you even want a big house (or whatever pricey purchase here), or is it something society told you you should have?” and 2. How do you know that you’ll even live to see retirement?
A little dark, I know. But all of this to say, if you’re someone who is focused so much on the future, and you think you’ll be happier when you have this and that, or when you’ve achieved this and you have that title and so on, you are sadly, very mistaken.
There are so many adults and celebrities who have talked about finally reaching fame, finally getting millions of subscribers, finally getting that house or care they’ve ‘always wanted’ and then still feeling the same. They don’t feel happier. They don’t feel more satisfied. Then they start making more goals and aiming for bigger possessions, and the cycle just repeats. “When I have this, I’ll be happy…”
It’s time to start living in the presence and making yourself happy now. If your friends invite you out for an activity, go! If you’re craving some ramen, go buy some. If you feel like getting a massage or getting your nails done, don’t wait for a special occasion. If you really love that shirt or that hat, treat yourself. You deserve it.
Stop procrastinating on your happiness. Stop making excuses. Stop splurging on others and being cheap on yourself. If you want to build real self-esteem, you need to stop putting yourself last. Stop thinking others deserve this and that, or that they have better, funner lives because they are lucky. You can do all that they do too!
Treat yourself. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Spend time with your family and friends even if it’ll cost you a bit. Go to spas or arcades or whatever place makes you happiest. Don’t wait for some magical being to come around and gift you these things. Live your life to the fullest.
Conclusion
I hope this list has been useful to you on your path to self-confidence and healing. Regardless of how you see and think of yourself now, you are just as beautiful, just as amazing, and just as capable as any other human being. Anything they have, anything they can do, you can achieve that too. You just got to start treating yourself right.
If you’re interested in more self-improvement tips, definitely check out my other articles: 5 Hard Truths That Will Make You Feel Confident Today, How To Set Goals Properly & Prepare for Success, Steps To Change From Follower to Leader, and Live Like A Protagonist Part 1.
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